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Thursday, August 4, 2016

I Almost Could Have Died,Today

This afternoon while innocently walking from the den into the kitchen I was viscously attacked by Shelby The Dog.  Ok maybe viscously attacked is a slight overstatement, but she did stick her humongous paw out as I walked by, then moved as I stepped on that humongous paw.  As a result I tumbled in slow motion landing on my hip right as my face made contact with the door frame.  Know what happens when you are injured with 2 adult sons watching? Intense laughter! In their defense they did wait until they were sure nothing was permanently damaged. Son2 even said "Go for the jugular Shelby, like we practiced".

Then I called My Beloved Sister and relayed the details of my harrowing event.  She listened for a minute, was silent, then burst out laughing like my sons. Especially when I told her one other thing Son2 said to me today "Well one thing you haven't lost as you've gotten older is your sense of grace". I am having a Rodney Dangerfiled moment here!

And this is why I know when it comes time to get nursing home care, I will wind up in the cheap one that smells like urine.

*As I have been told all night, I have slow motion falling down to an art form.  Just glad neither had their phone near or there would have been video evidence of said slo-mo.

28 comments:

  1. According to your illustration, this all happened while dressed immaculately and with a sexy hint of belly button on show. Which just shows that you do things in style!

    I bet you are sore and sorry tomorrow, hopefully it wont last!

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    1. Your comment made me laugh out loud!!!

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    2. They may plot to kill me but at least I will go down in a coordinated outfit while wearing lipstick!

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  2. We had virtually the same experience. Two dogs tried to kill me this morning by positioning themselves behind me and purposely running into my legs in an attempt to knock me down. Fortunately, they were not on the attack at the same time. If two conspire against me, don't expect to see my blog again or read my comments. When I worked in a nursing home, the urine smell was quite bad on the floor with the patients who had more serious problems. A number of them were in a vegetative state. The people who could drink liquids also did not drink enough water. So if you get stuck in a stinky nursing home, be sure to drink lots of water and encourage everyone else to do the same.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. I will try to remember that. Son2 says not to worry, he will never put me in the cheap nursing home. Instead he says he will Jimmy Jones me with a nice glass of KoolAid

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  3. I just read on my friend Mary Ann's blog about a similar accident involving her dog. Thank goodness you're okay. She ended up in a cast.

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  4. 😱 I'm glad you're OK, it could have been much worse

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    1. I am fine. I just have a nice bruise on the side of my hip, a slightly black eye and some seriously wounded pride.

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  5. Ouch. I am pretty certain that Jazz does the tripping manoevre deliberately. And will feed himself on my not quite cold corpse.
    I am glad that you escaped major injury (and my family would laugh too).

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    1. Mom came up to eat tonight and was the only once semi concerned. I guess it was the black eye that garnered me a tad of sympathy

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  6. :-) I would do a laughing face, but don't know how! But glad you are alright.

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    1. When TheHub got home from work and heard my tale of woe he laughed, so you might as well join in. Everyone around here already has

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  7. I love your drawing and that first comment is hysterical. I'm glad you're OK, though. Men. They act like babies when they have the tiniest cold but laugh at us when we fall. You're lucky you didn't fart in the process of falling, they would have never been able to even make sure you were OK...

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    1. That is so true! I think they were a little concerned when my face hit the door facing, but my first words were "son of a gun" or at least a similar saying. I am pretty sure a "damnitall Shelby " slipped out also

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  8. Yes grace be you. My kids would have done the same thing, but they might not have waited until they saw I was okay. Hop you are not too gimpy tomorrow.

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    1. I might have been too generous about them waiting to laugh. There was a momentary pause then the laughing started.

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  9. Falling is serious, especially the face and head hits that ensue. I guarantee I did not laugh. People around town will think your husband hit you. Now that makes me laugh. My friend fell running up her front steps. At the hospital, they made her husband go away so they could get the true story. Well, at least you had witness that probably would still be laughing, telling the story.

    This is why I will never have animals in the house...okay, maybe a chicken.

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    1. I told Son2 I was going to tell everyone he karate chopped me diagonally across my face.

      Shelby is a huge dog with huge paws, who loves to stretch out blocking doorways. If I didn't love her I would think about murdering her.

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    2. My mother died from a fall, getting up from a recliner to answer the phone. She hit face first and fraxtured her chin, broke her nose, cheek bones, and forehead. Falling over pets, even the tiny ones, cats and dogs, is a major cause of falls among older people. I don't there are statistics for less than elderly. Be careful because the dog will probably move out of your way now that you have steeped on her, still tripping you.

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  10. I knew some one who broke a leg tripping over her dog. I've read that these are common household accidents, especially for seniors. My cat has a habit of laying in the middle of the kitchen floor right as I'm preparing dinner. The other day she was walking across my desk. I went to move my coffee cup, but instead her paw ended up in it and coffee spilled everywhere. Argh! Glad you are okay, but be aware that sometimes hitting your head can cause vertigo a day or two later.

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  11. First;I hope you really are alright because at our age next day is when pains apt to surface. Oh dogs and children-just love to be in wrong places at wrong times.

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    1. I have a couple of bruises but am fine. I am just teed off with myself and the dog.

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  12. Sounds like you're training to be a stunt woman if you have slow motion falling down. I hope you have some ice packs ready.

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  13. Kids are great aren't they?! :o/

    Glad you are ok!

    Tania

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    1. Especially adult kids! They are so much better smart asses than their younger selves were

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