I recently saw an online food subscription service that looked intriguing, especially since I really do like to try different things. This is a service that would send products from around the world to my home, monthly, one country at a time. And the first box would be from Brazil, right as I have been watching the Olympics and marveling at how beautiful the scenery is. Woo hoo! Could it get any better?
Why yes it could! Offering a free box plus a discounted price if I bought the 6 month subscription package was even more enticing. They saw me coming, cast the line, I opened my mouth wide, and took the bait. Before you could blink an eye I was typing in my credit card info and mailing address. Clicked purchase__hook set!
Well today my free box and my first subscription box arrived. I was very happy to see it on the porch when I came back from the airport after dropping Son3 for his return flight to school. I was almost giddy to see what was in the box, in fact, I did not make it farther than the dining room table before I started the great unboxing. I am enclosing photos of both boxes for your amusement (if you are a sadist) or abject horror (if you follow a tight budget).
You will notice there are nine items pictured here. One of the items from the Brazil box is on the Swedish one. Mea culpa!)
The photo above is the FREE Swedish box. It came with eight items in a beautiful aqua box filled to the brim with excelsior. You know why it had so much excelsior? Because the eight items were very small. I now own for future consumption 5.3 ounces of lingonberry preserves, 3.2 ounces sweet hot honey mustard, 1.4 ounces of sweet licorice (who the hell likes licorice?) 8.5 ounces elderberry syrup, 4.4 ounces double chocolate crisp cookies, 3.5 ounces Swedish flatbread 50 grams of Lofbergs coffee (bonus, it makes 6 cups), and last but not least 2.4 ounces of Nordic fudge with the flavor of sea buckthorn. No idea what sea buckthorn tastes like but its oil is used holistically to treat arthritis, acne and measles. And if any of you are wondering, August is a sucky time to ship fudge to Alabama.
In addition to this haul they give you a few instructions on how to make this a true Swedish experience, like put some ham and cheese on the flatbread. I am glad they suggested it because I would never have thought to put cheese on crackers! Or how about brewing that coffee and eating it with the cookies?
Now lets move on to Brazil to see what treasures can be found there. Once again I got the lovely, exceptionally sturdy aqua box with more excelsior, lots more excelsior. It also features eight items including the errant jam that jumped into the Sweden picture. You have to watch jars of jam at all times because they are sneaky critters.
For my eating pleasure I own 4.94 ounces jabuticaba jam, 2.82 ounces of Brazil nut cookies, 1.76 ounces of churrasco spice mix (dry) 4.58 ounces churrasco sauce (in case the spice blend isn't enough?) 3.5 ounces of traditional Brazilian peanut candy bars, 10.6 ounces of guava paste, 7.05 ounces cheese bread mix (that I have to add my own cheese to) and 5.29 ounces of ground coffee.
Again they included some serving suggestions like having the coffee with the cookies. Those wild and crazy Brazilians!
And this completes my first 2 boxes. I will not publicly give you the name of this subscription service, but I will be happy to let you know privately. Just send me an email. Obviously I am not affiliated with it at all and all this snark and sarcasm is my own unbiased and honest opinion.
I am also not dogging all food subscription services. I know there are some wonderful ones out there, but I am not sure this is one of them. At the very least it is not the one for me, and a month before my six month subscription ends I will be canceling it.
Meanwhile I will use/eat these products and will let you know how delicious/untasty/downright horrid (hear that licorice?) they are.
If this is the worst mistake (financial or otherwise) I make for the rest of my life I will be one lucky duck, but right now I am incredibly pissed with myself
p.s. Just doing the box math I will have at least 5 empty boxes and a mountain of excelsior by Christmas. I decided at least I will have beautifully wrapped presents and nothing will break no matter how hard a "present guesser" shakes the box.
pp.s. The flatbread is truly tasty. It is a tad salty for my tastes but I am not a big salt fan, so take that with a grain of salt!