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Thursday, December 29, 2016

I Blame the Weather


We have been having unseasonably warm weather. While the rest of you are shoveling snow, wearing sweaters and drinking cocoa, we have been running the a/c and drinking iced tea.  The other day was no exception. I had started the day off wearing jeans, but has switched to capris just to stay a little cooler. Normally when it is cool I walk around the house in clogs, but it was hot so I was in flip flops. I am totally blaming the weather for what happened next



Every so often I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and am horrified at what stares back at me. No, I am not talking about the every day regular horrifying things I see in my reflection, instead I mean those out of the ordinary horrendous things.  A couple of days ago I had one of those incidents. After the immediate cringe the other day I started laughing because for a moment I thought I would audition for the role of the mother in "I Was a Teenage Werewolf". No, not because I bear some striking resemblance to Michael Landon, but because those things most people call eyebrows had gotten all wonky and looked more than a tad feral. I am not one of those people who go like clockwork to have them waxed or threaded, but most of the time I keep them in fairly good shape. Glancing in the mirror though, it must have been at least a month since I tamed the beast.  (For the record a 15x magnifying mirror is not the kindest thing to catch a glimpse in, and now you will notice in my joy list the need for a "spa day" weekly.  This is exactly why)

Now please remember, it was warm and I was in capris and flip flops (zorries to some of you, thongs to others) as I began my task.  I sat at my vanity table in my bedroom to begin the grooming and was about halfway through with one eyebrow when i saw something slide off the table before it struck my foot.  Ouch right on my bare big toe! But did I stop? No I continued on my job thinking the toe would quit hurting, but it didn't.  In fact it hurt even more__and more. And then I felt something wet between my toes.  Crap! I figured I had knocked over a bottle of nail polish that had klunked against my toe (possibly broken it) and spilled out, so I looked down to see what kind of mess I had created, That is when I saw my really small, incredibly sharp scissors perfectly imbedded  point side down in my toe, blood running down into the flip flop. Which would never have happened if the weather had been normal and I was wearing real shoes.  So I totally blame global warming!

Hi! My name is Anne, and I'm a dumb ass!

18 comments:

  1. You are so like me. I walked around for an entire day with a hardened orange peel in my shoe, because I was too focused on a project. Only to get a big blister.

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  2. You are so not alone. Blood is easier to mop up than nail polish though. I have always got bruises on my upper arms from the doorways. They leap out at me you understand ... Not to mention the ones on my thighs from solid pieces of furniture which must move when my back is turned.

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    1. I had not thought of the mopping benefit.! I have an issue with doorways also but I had that even as a small child.

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  3. Ouch, Anne! I can't imagine the pain of a stuck scissors. I'm a pain baby so no way would I have been able to continue. I hope all is well. We have a biting cold wind today, but lots of sun.

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    1. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain. It hurt but was not outrageous. I mainly noticed that it didn't lessen as quickly as I thought it should.

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  4. Ouch! That must have been very painful! Hope your toe is OK. I am a D.A. too! I knocked my forehead on the corner of an open kitchen cabinet door, last night - right where I knocked it when I fell, earlier!

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    1. It hurt but was not horrid. At least now I know why it didn't let up.

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  5. That must have been painful. Ouch. I'm a dumbass too. Always have been. I get hurt constantly, will see blood on me and no idea how it got there and it takes me a while to figure out where it's coming from, bruises, knots and don't know where they are from. I have cut myself with scissors plenty, but never had any sticking out of me. Sounds painful definitely.

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    1. Like I said it hurt but was bearable. Not that I want to try it again. I stabbed myself with a paring knife once before. I was putting it in the dishwasher and dropped it. It bounced and stuck in my calf. I could not do that again if I tried and tried. (BTW, when I stabbed myself with the knife both TheHub and Son2 laughed at me, so sympathy does not abound here)

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  6. Oh my gosh Anne! Hope your toe is feeling better. We've all done dumb stuff like that. Totally global warming is at fault. Take care! ;0)

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  7. Yeah I blame the weather not my carelessness!

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  8. "... more than a tad feral."
    You're my favorite!!!

    And, always blame global warming! We should just blame global warming for everything. I think some very famous people have already started that campaign anyhow.

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    1. Dang! I am always too late with my campaigns.

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  9. Oy vey! Perhaps if it continues to be so hot your caterpillar will slowly evolve into an inch worm!

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  10. Fortunately the temp shows signs of change.

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  11. You couldn't do it if you tried!

    The cold weather may be safer for you

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