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Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Crazy Train Tuesday on Wednesday

I had this post all ready to go except for the editing part and was not around during the day Tuesday so I decided to delay it one day. I keep a log of some of my more interesting interactions with Mom. Writing them down keeps me sane and is cheaper than therapy. I keep hoping things will miraculously change and go back to normal, but then I stop and have to realize this is my new normal.

Tuesday: Mom and I had talked Monday afternoon about meeting My Beloved Sister for her birthday lunch the next day. We had discussed where we were going, what gifts I had bought and that MBS did not want Mom to bake her a birthday cake.
Tuesday morning came and MBS called Mom and told her she was looking forward to meeting us. Mom was completely blank and had no idea we were going. Then she called me and fussed at me because I had not told her about the birthday plan. Sometimes I feel like the Wicked Witch of the West is flying over my house writing "Surrender Dorothy" in the sky.

Wednesday: Mom wanted me to come and dig up the azaleas and boxwoods beneath the cursed tree in her front yard. For about the 10th time I have told here the tree company will do minimal damage to her beds so we need to wait until after the tree is down to make any decisions about the shrubs. I will be glad when those blooming trees are removed  because according to her she can't get anything done until they are taken care of.

Thursday: Today was a stormy crappy day, and for someone who needs everything perfect to enjoy life, today Mom's life was miserable. She went to her Sunday School's monthly social, a luncheon and told me it was pretty bad.  I asked if it was the food, but the answer was no. Then I asked if she was stuck by someone she didn't like, but that was a no also, she sat by her two best friends.
My Beloved Sister and I talked it over and we drew the same conclusion. It must be those nefarious trees in her yard that caused the luncheon to be less than stellar!
I went to an event in the Eastern part of town listening to sirens the whole drive over while a tornado was kicking up. A couple of hours later when I was driving home I heard on the radio that one was headed for our side of town. Since Mom watches The Hallmark Channel on TV and does not get the local weather interruptions, I called her to let her know I was waiting out the storm in Trussville and to tell her to head downstairs. When everything was over I drove home, got off the interstate and went the long way so I could visually check everything. I wanted to make sure both she and her house were OK, and if I needed to stop by, I was already out and would not have to make a special trip back. I noticed the creek that runs behind her house was out of it banks and close to overflowing so I called her from the car. I think I woke her from a cat nap because when I asked about the heavy rains she told me it had not rained a drop at her house, which was amazing since I was literally crossing over the bridge at the time. (The very same bridge that is 3 houses from her street.)
When I got to her street I slowed down and looked at her yard to check on the trees but I didn't stop, I just kept driving. I am declaring it a modern day miracle since water was rushing down the gutters and everything I could see was drenched, but evidently not a drop fell on her yard.

 Friday:  I was supposed to drive Mom to the doc but my car was in the shop getting a new tire (because of a flat the day before). My Beloved Sister took her instead and dropped her off in time for her 8:15 appointment. I had already made arrangements for Son2 to be here with his car by 8:45 so he could take me to get my car and then I could pick up Mom. I have been taking her quarterly to this appointment and it takes about an hour and 15 minutes for them to administer the treatment.  I had already decided I would get there a little after nine and I would just wait on her. I had just turned on the shower at 8:30 when the phone rang. Mom was through!!!
Fortunately Son2 was here with the car in the driveway. No shower, no anything, just clothes thrown on and a speedy trip to get her. I got her home and back into her pj's. (This visit always wipes her out and she has to sleep for several hours until her eyes clear and she can see again.) I generally get her into bed, put some liquid tears in her eyes and leave her alone until she wakes. Sometimes this procedure hurts more than it does other times and Friday was a painful one. She kept asking me to put the drops in her eyes but she would not open them for me to do it because it hurt her. After several failed attempts to get her to open her eyes, she told me to leave so she could sleep.
30 minutes later she called for me to go back to her house to put the drops in, which I did, left then went back to her house when I was summoned once again about an hour later. Finally, after her second call, I was able to pick up my car. I hightailed it to the grocery store while I was out to try and beat the approaching storms, called her to see if she needed me to get anything for her and she was hysterical because she had just called my house and I was not home.  She needed more eye drops and a milkshake.  I headed to McDonalds, bought the shake, hurried to her house, put more drops in her eyes, got her settled down again then left quickly because I still had my groceries in the car and it looked like the bottom was about to fall out of the skies. I had just driven into my driveway in time for torrential rains with lightning and thunder to begin. I got to spend the next 20 minutes in my car waiting for it to slack off long enough for me to get the groceries in the house without getting drenched.
That night we had ziti for dinner and I called to ask her if I could run some down for her supper. (She was still in bed so I knew she had nothing for dinner)  Son2 and GF2 decided they would take it to her instead so they could eat with her and visit a little while. (Thank you! Thank you! I did not want to go for the 5th time in the same day)
The same Mom who would not open her eyes and was pitiful and groping blindly for whatever she needed or wanted each of the 4 times I was at her house danced the jitterbug during their visit! What the Hell!!!

Saturday: Mom's power went out Friday night before Son2 and GF2 left her house.  They took care of everything and helped her get ready for bed so all she would have to do is take her lantern into the bedroom and go to sleep. Saturday morning (The one day I planned to sleep in) the phone rang at 7:30 because Mom needed me to come get the food out of her freezer and bring it to my house. I told her I would be down later, and made it to her house at about 9. (I had to move everything from the freezer of my auxiliary fridge and stuff it into my upright freezer so I would have a place to put her food.) I got to her house and could see the power company workers through the woods behind her. I told her I thought her power would be back on in just a little bit, but she insisted it would not and I needed to take her frozen foods to my house right then. So I lugged all the crap out of her freezer, drove home and put it in mine. 30 minutes later I got a call that her power was back on and I needed to bring it all back.
(For the record: she knew her freezer and refrigerator were still cool before she called me the first time because she had opened the doors to check the temp several times!)

Sunday:  Thankfully the train was not running!

Monday: Nothing big or remarkable happened today except the yard guy came and could have cleaned up the branch mess in her front yard, but she had complained about it so much that My Beloved Sister cleaned it up for her Saturday while I was moving frozen foods. I asked her if she had asked him to clean the natural area by the creek in her backyard (He had already given her a reasonable bid.) but she will not do it because the tree in the front yard is still there. Can anyone explain to me how the tree in the front yard has any impact on clearing out the back yard down by the creek?

28 comments:

  1. can you just remove all vegetation from her property? it seems to cause a lot of drama

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  2. Danced the jitterbug! Some parts of her are still working well.

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    1. Yes they are! When GF2 goes to see her, she changes into a competent human who laughs, says ribald things, and eats.

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  3. You can thank me later. Change your phone number. Not sure if I'm kidding or not. Your a saint. Cheryl.

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    1. I am far from a saint, just doing what I have to do and often gritting my teeth while I am doing it.

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  4. I know my grandparents (when they were alive) always fretted about their yard. Every little thing. I'll bet you will dance the jig when they finally take care of that dang tree!

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    1. I will be very happy when the trees are gone, but as soon as they are there will be some other issue.

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  5. Your Mom reminds me so much of my Mother-in-law. One Thanksgiving she refused to come over for supper (as both us and hubby's brother had invited her and she didn't want to choose so said no to both), then called me that morning as I had my hand up the birds but stuffing it and told me she was coming to take us out to supper. I told her (very impolitely as was tired of similar situations) that she was still invited but under no circumstances was I stopping stuffing the bird and her taking us out to supper. It was the very first time I told her off and frankly I was glad I did it. Unfortunately a few years later I learned it was the start of her dementia and unfortunately it just makes people very selfish.

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    1. We have noticed Mom has no awareness of how this impacts everyone around her.

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  6. It's a darn good thing that you have other family members to help you out with all of the running around. You must feel exhausted some days with all the back and forthing! The things we do for love.

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    1. It is mental fatigue rather than physical. For me to drive to Mom's at a normal speed and obeying all the traffic laws it takes me 4 minutes, but in an emergency and safely running stop signs I can be there in just over 2 minutes, so there is nothing taxing about going. It is just the stress of an "emergency" and the accompanying adrenaline dump then finding there was never an emergency to begin with, just some routine bother.

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  7. Oh Anne, we are in the same boat only mine is downstairs. Having this column to read is a life saver (hers)

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  8. My friend's mother, Betty, had her roof removed and dropped back onto the house during the Carbon Hill, AL tornado about 20 years ago. The tornado took down almost every tree in the town. Betty lost a few. From then on, her goal was to remove every tree and shrub from her yard. Friend said she hears a chain saw and goes walking to find it and brings back a guy with chainsaw to remove yet another twig from her yard. She denuded the yard over a few years and nothing will dissuade her.

    It may be only mental stress you are going through, but that kind of stress translates to physical stress to me.

    I still wonder why the ladies' meeting was so awful.

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    1. I actually think it is because she refuses to wear her hearing aids and can't hear what is being said so she misses out on the conversations.

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  9. That pesky tree has a lot to answer for...
    This is so very familiar. One day while I was at work I received fifteen calls before lunch. All needing things done. NOW. Including phone calls demanding that the things she had insisted on were undone.
    I gritted my teeth so often I am a bit surprised I didn't wear them down to gums.
    I am so very glad you have the Crazy Train outlet - and which I had it when I needed it. You are much smarter than I was.

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    1. Not a bit smarter but one day I started a new blog post just for myself and was just banging away at the keyboard getting frustrations out, The more I wrote the better I felt and then I realized how funny some of the situations were. That was the genesis of the theme but I tweaked it a bit because I would not want the world to ever know how foul my thoughts can be.

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  10. Holy cats you're hopping!!

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    1. I am just glad we live close to each other! Makes it a little easier.

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  11. How about if I show up with a bulldozer to knock down everything in her yard? After my dad died, my mom called me all the time to complain about my mother-in-law bothering her. She always said YOUR mother-in-law as if I were responsible for her. Finally I said, What in the hell do you expect me to do about it? She stopped complaining about my MIL, but she was angry with me for the rest of her life. *sigh* Willy Dunne Wooters has terrible hearing and refuses to get hearing aids, although he had promised me when I started dating him that if his hearing became a problem that he would get them. It's a problem. It's a major problem. He denies that I've said things that I've said. Insists that I've said things other than what I really said. Tells me to stop talking in a sing-song voice. Tells me to stop using such a high-pitched voice. People who can't hear are bound to be upset, and I'm tired of it.

    Love,
    Janie

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  12. I know it is hard but it is hard on those of us who try to communicate with those who can't hear. I am tired of yelling.

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    1. Sometimes he accuses me of speaking too quietly, but then when I speak up he gets angry and says, I'm standing right next to you. Quit shouting!

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  13. I vote that you deputize DS2 and GF2 to go in your stead! I know it's not possible, but wouldn't that be nice? My mother lived with me, so I didn't have to run over to her place. But she'd call me at work when she'd get panic attacks or when she had fallen, and I'd rush back home, all the time. Sometimes, I had just got to my office when she'd call and I had to rush back home.

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    1. I do understand! I know it will not get better or easier, so I am just going to keep laughing about it all.

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  14. Your mom and those trees!! My grandmother refuses to wear her hearing aids, too. Even when we speak loudly, she still doesn't catch everything but she is way too proud to admit that. So instead she just makes up what she thinks is a reasonable conclusion or filler. Which would be fine but then she passes that information along and my mom and my aunt sometimes are running in circles based on totally made-up information.

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    1. Do understand the running in circles part. It makes what could be so easy so much more complicated!

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