Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Crazy Train Tuesday (with a twist)

Good thoughts and a little time away can certainly alter perspectives. I spent the entire weekend at the lake enjoying my family and left Mom's needs to My Beloved Sister. I am posting this today with a renewed spirit and belief that the coming week will be good. (Or at least mostly good).  Mom took the initiative a couple of times this week and figured out a solution or two for herself then implemented them. For the first time in quite a while I don't feel like I am walking around tethered to her demands, so I can put off my imagined therapy for at least a week.
Special thanks to My Beloved Sister. I will return the favor next weekend!

Tuesday: Mom was talking about Girlfriend2. She is a lovely young woman and I truly adore her, plus she is exceptionally kind to Mom.
Mom: I really do like GF2, she is so sweet.
Me: She is Mom. She has one of the kindest hearts of anyone I have ever met.
Mom: I hope we can keep her.
Me: (silently) What the heck do you think she is? A puppy?***
        (Aloud) "Crickets" because I had no words

Wednesday:  Mom decided to make a cake. No one asked her to, and no one wanted her to. She used to be the MacDaddy cake baker for her specialty, moist yellow cake with creamy fudge icing that literally tasted like candy fudge only a spreadable consistency. But the operative words here are "used to".
Like many things she could do well at one time, her desire and ability no longer mesh. Now everything from the actual cake baking to making the frosting is too hard for her.  She uses the cake as a bribery method to get her grandson's to her house. Since Son3 is visiting she believes she should see him every single day.  Even though she ate with us Memorial Day it did not count as a visit because it was not at her house. She called me to tell me she needed her cake plate (she gives it to me then takes it back every time she wants to make a cake) from my house. She was on her way to The Pig to buy some unsweetened chocolate but stopped by here first. I told here I had plenty of unsweetened chocolate and there was no reason for her to buy any, so this is our conversation as I took a gallon bag filled with unsweetened chocolate squares from the freezer.

Me: I am not sure how many squares it takes but I bought these right before they changed their packaging so these are the old size.
Mom: How many do I need?
Me: The recipe is your secret recipe and I don't have it. I think it has 2 but possibly 4 so I'll give you 6 which will be more than enough. I think it calls for 2 squares but it might call for 4. Just take it and keep whatever is left over and use it another time.
Mom: How do I know how many squares to use?
Me: It's your recipe, look at it.
Mom: What if I had already changed the recipe to fit the new size? This chocolate is in the old size.
Me: If the recipe says 8 or more squares you have already adjusted it. This larger square equals 4 of the new packaging squares.
Mom: How do you know that?
Me: Because you call me and ask me every time you make a cake.
Mom: Smart ass, I have not made a cake in years.
Me: Yes ma'am, you brought one here at Easter remember?
Mom: Just quit making my life more difficult.
Me I'm not trying to make your life more difficult Mom, I'm just trying to give you chocolate.
She picked up the cake pan and the chocolate (which I had the unmitigated nerve to put in a ziploc bag rather than wrap in a napkin?) and headed out the door, but not before commenting on the begonias on the dining room table (they need water and are looking leggy) and to pick up a pair of glasses and ask who they belong to and why were they on the dining room table. (Mine and who cares?) Then she had to tell me I needed to dye me hair. (my roots!) and my phone was ringing so I had better answer it, plus my lantana growing in a pot outside needed some shaping up, and I could use a little makeup. Nice!

Thursday: The great branch debacle stared with a phone call and a voice in full panic mode.
Mom: Anne come down here right now, I need you!!!!!!!! Call Son2!!!!!
Me: (Because we have so many "emergencies" I have learned to ask the next question)  What's wrong?
Mom: A tree just fell on my house!!!!!!!!

I went flying down to her house (all of 2 minutes away) and fortunately Son2 was at my house so he went with me. Before we turned onto her street Son2 and I placed bets about what we would find. We both figured it would be a branch, because Mom usually does not fully communicate what has transpired. We guessed something had happened but we also figured it was not as bad as she made it sound.

We were both right and wrong at the same time. A branch had broken and was on her house but it had not completely fallen and was "dangling by a participle".  So the full impact of the branch never really hit the roof, it was more like it was resting on it. However, it was about 20 feet long and about 2 feet in circumference and resting on and between the two power lines to the house.

After a couple of calls to the power company (worthless, waste of time) and her insurance company, I was able to get a tree service who could come out after they finished their last job (and charge overtime, naturally) but I had no complaints. They removed the branch while working between hot power lines, (Like I said the power company was totally worthless.) cleaned up all the mess, and were exceedingly kind to my mother.

Even though all was well that ended well, Mom spent the rest of the day in a semi-hysterical state, and Son3 did go down later to check on her for me, because I had only been with her for 5 hours which obviously was not enough.

Friday: This is actually a conversation between Mom and My Beloved Sister, because I did not go to her house or have any intense conversations wit her on Friday.
MBS: Hey Mom, I am going to get off early today and I thought I would drop by your house on the way home.
Mom: I can't hear you (Again the hearing aids are in her jewelry drawer)
MBS: (A little louder) I am going to get off early today and I thought I would drop by your house on the way home.
Mom: I can't hear you
MBS: (Louder still) I am going to get off early today and I thought I would drop by your house on the way home.
Mom: (irritated voice) I can't hear you!

Saturday: I was at the lake so My Beloved Sister had to do all the heavy lifting on Saturday. Mom was having some breathing issues so MBS got the early morning call to come sit with her. (This is usually my chore, and it scared MBS more than it does me now)  I am sorry she had to deal with it, because it is a little frightening the first time. (It seems to be some physical issues which induce  panic attacks, her not taking her meds, compounded with a recent stress. Add in the fact that she is not completely clear all the time and her confusion level amps up and increases her panic. It is not a pretty thing to deal with.)

Sunday: I called Mom to tell her we were home and ask if she needed anything.
Mom: No I don't need anything. I am going to make something for my dinner.
Me: What are you having?
Mom: I don't know, I don't think I have anything
Me: Then it sounds like you need something.  We are going to run to Purple Onion and pick up something for dinner, what can I grab for you?
Mom: What do they have?
Me: Middle Eastern food, but they also have hamburgers.
Mom: Bring me a hamburger then.
I called the order in and TheHub and I rode to pick it up, stopping at Mom's on the way home. I ran it in to her, kind of checked her out to make sure she had recovered from her "off" day on Saturday (she had) and was about to leave when she stopped me to ask why I had bought her such a big hamburger,
I guess from now on I need to tell everywhere in advance to make sure they reduce their normal serving size to accommodate her birdlike appetite.  Silly me!

Monday: I have to say this took me by total surprise!  Mom broke her glasses and without saying anything to either My Beloved Sister or me, she called her ophthalmologist, made an appointment for her next check up, found her old glasses and took her old frames to the optical shop to see what could be done to fix them. She took them by herself and is wearing them already. Son3 also went by her house on his way home from the lake. Alone time with him is extremely good medicine for her!

I was pleasantly dumbfounded and very proud of her!

Now on to a new week that I am hoping will be wonderful!


  1. Replies
    1. I am hoping this will be a better week. Monday started off that way!

  2. Yes, some times they can surprise you and actually accomplish and adult move.

    1. Trust me when I say the adulting was short lived!

  3. So, did she make the cake, after all?

    Had to laugh about her telling you you needed to dye your hair! It's something just about every member of my family tells me I need to do (I don't dye my hair at all).

    Hope you and your mother will have a good week. :)

    1. I spoke too soon, Bless! The crazy train is running at full speed now!

  4. Echoing Bless. Did she make the cake? And how was it.
    The dying hair thing? My mother told me, at a social occasion, that I had wasted my money on my new hair cut. (I was particularly pleased with it until then). She then turned to the woman standing beside her who neither of us knew to enlist her support. Sigh.

    1. She made the cake. It is wrapped in aluminum foil in her fridge, un-iced!
      I understand the need for solidarity even if it is from an unknown person. I am often the victim of that.

  5. Yeah I want to know if she made the cake too (and more to the point, did you eat it?) Anna

    1. The cake is currently uneaten and she is pissed that she made the cake now because it is not frosted, even though Son3 went to her house today to help her make it when she told him to go away because she needed a nap.

  6. Did you dye your hair yet? How are the begonias? Whose glasses are they? Are you sure they're yours? Did she bake the cake? Is the chocolate situation resolved? Why DID you get her such a big hamburger?


    1. No, leggy, mine and yes I an sure they are mine, cake baked and in the refrigerator , chocolate is at her house though frosting is unmade, and I got her such a big hamburger because I am an asshole daughter who has not learned how to order properly.
      (I just got off the phone with her and wonder if my current frustration level registers through this medium)

  7. (((HUGS))) Anne. Take a deep breath and let it out, s-l-o-w-l-y.

  8. Next time mom struggles with something remind her how well she handled her glasses crisis all by herself! Perhaps lots of positive reinforcement will help her through her next problem (or maybe not) :)

    1. It's only Wednesday, and it already looks like maybe not!

  9. The hair, glasses and begonias remind me of my mother who insists on commenting on every little thing, her business or not.

    Is that a new shirt?
    Where did you get it?
    I never find good things like that
    You have to be less fussy
    I'm not fussy
    If you saw this shirt in Target you wouldn't like the buttons or the length or the collar or the size of the neck and then you complain that you can't find anything

  10. I'm starting to think my mother in law bought a permanent crazy train ticket. Hubs just jumps lately-no comprehension how busy we are, and nonsense things. Sorry the week has turned.

    1. I'm sorry you are riding the train also. It makes like a bit difficult.