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Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Happy 4th and Crazy Train Tuesday

If you read me regularly you will know I have this post each week. My Beloved Sister and I are trying to navigate unfamiliar waters helping our widowed mother. She wants to live at her home for as long as possible, but each week seems to require a little more help. We are trying very hard to let her have some quality of life while making sure she is safe and secure. If she were compliant or docile this would be so much easier and less frustrating, but Mom has strong opinions on every. single. thing. and she sure as shooting is not afraid to let us know what they are. In addition to being opinionated she is demanding and becomes fixated on one thing (like the tree in her yard)  and will not let it go__ever. I write this to keep me sane and save money I would have to use for therapy so I can spend it on more important things, like chocolate.

Tuesday: I am trying to get Mom out in the world to do something different at least once during the week. I was going to the farmer's market Tuesday and asked if she would like to come along. She went with me and seemed to enjoy seeing things, plus she liked seeing me talk with the farmers. While we were there we happened on an older couple who not only had their farm veggies to sell but they also had a big gas fired cook pot filled with hot boiled peanuts. I bought some and Mom and I both ate one before we left the parking lot.
Mom: These peanuts will probably be good once they dry out.
Me: They are boiled peanuts, Mom, they're supposed to be wet because they are boiled.
Mom: Well whoever eats boiled peanuts?
Me: People who like them. i like them
Mom: Y'all are just wrong!


Wednesday: The Tree in her front yard. It is keeping her from doing any and everything including washing her interior windows or vacuuming.

Thursday: Mom was going to the lake with us this weekend but had told everyone she knows that she does not like to go because we keep our house too cold  (75), there is nothing to do there, and she gets bored doing nothing. (Even though she would be with TheHub and me at night when she is usually alone.

Friday: Mom went with me to the lake place. We had a couple of stops to make on the way down and traffic was horrid so our 45 minute drive took nearly 1 hour and 45 minutes. On the drive down I heard about every single beautiful tree, cloud, horse, house, pasture, pond___you name it. If she liked it I heard about it. I also heard every single thing she didn't like: an older man with suspenders, a family with too many children, my cousin, ugly houses, yards that didn't meet her specs, dying Queen Anne's lace, my cousin, rotted trees that had fallen in the woods, a dead armadillo, uncut pastures, a house with "too much stuff", my cousin, gray skies, rain, my driving, my cousin. I have decided that she has never believed in the concept of a comfortable silence.

Saturday: It was a mostly good day except I cooked too many foods for dinner, grilled hamburger patty, corn on the cob, green beans, and tossed salad. After dinner she asked me to give her a job. She couldn't help load  the dishes because my plates and cups are too heavy. (I knew before she told me they would be too heavy for her.  All stoneware is too heavy for her to carry more than one plate at a time.) Instead I asked her to please wrap the one leftover ear of corn and one patty in aluminum foil because I was out of ziploc bags. She did not agree that they should be wrapped in foil insisting on putting them in bags I didn't have. Finally they were wrapped in foil and put in the fridge.

Sunday: We decided to come home Sunday night rather than waiting until Monday, mid-day. TheHub drove straight from work Friday and was planning on getting up and driving straight to work Monday from the lake. I was planning on getting everything cleaned then heading home about noon. My car was having a hard time holding a charge, and we did not have the tools at the lake place to really see what was wrong with it. We thought it would be easier to go back while TheHub could follow me and make sure I had no car trouble, or be there if I did. I cleaned everything, washed all the linens, mopped, swept, cleaned the fridge, all the usual you do when leaving somewhere for an undetermined amount of time. Mom mainly sat and watched, which was fine because she kinda gets in the way sometimes when she tries to help. At some point she said she had lost her glasses, so I went on an all points search for them. I looked everywhere and couldn't find them. Finally she said she might have left them at home. She does not need them all the time and I honestly could not remember if she had worn them or not, so we packed up and left sans glasses.

Monday:  Mom called me straight out of the chute. She wanted me to go back to the lake, call TheHub and tell him to meet me there and enjoy the rest of the 4th holiday. It sounded pretty altruistic, until I told her we were not going back and would just stay home and have a laid back holiday. Turns out she thinks she remembered making her glasses up with the bed. She just wanted me to go back and get them. She has an ugly spare pair and she will just have to look funny until I go back next weekend.

And last but certainly not least:

                        Happy Fourth, Y'all 
                                and for the non celebrants 
                         Happy Tuesday!

30 comments:

  1. Anne, I laughed so hard as I am with your mother on the boiled peanut thing! Other than your mother, I am probably the only person who thinks boiled peanuts are gross.

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    1. Linda, I think most of the population above the mason/dixon line and west of the Mississippi are at best mystified and at worst horrified by the idea of boiled peanuts!:D :D It took me a while, as a displaced northerner, to learn to enjoy them but my husband likes to stop for a cup if we see any for sale while driving around so I decided it was in my best interest to familiarize myself.

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    2. You and Mom, Linda! She said she had never eaten one before, but as an octogenarian who has lived in Alabama all her life, my money is that she doesn't remember it. Kind of like the egg rolls she has never eaten before or the root beer she has never tried, both of which I have seen her ingest all my life.

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    3. Laura, at least you are game and would give it a try! I admit I like some better than others and I have to rinse them off before I can enjoy them.

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    4. My hubby tried them and said they were gross. I'm taking his word on that. Just the idea of a mushy wet peanut grosses me out. I won't go near a crawfish either. Still haven't had gumbo (I detest okra) and neither one of us like Conecuh sausage. I'm a terrible southerner. lol

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    5. Yep, you do not pass for southern!

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  2. Replies
    1. Hope yours is filled with sun and bbq (or whatever Californians eat for the 4th)

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  3. Relatively speaking, sounds like the week wasn't too bad. Sadly, you have much worse ones to compare to. I'm not sure what is happening in the brain, but as my parents dementia began, fixating on things was one of the first very noticeable signs.

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    1. Yes according to everything I have read the fixation is a strong indicator. She also argues with me over names she get confused and insists I am wrong.

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  4. Happy 4th...enjoy your peaceful day at home and hopefully no more Crazy Train at least for today

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    1. Thanks, we had a great 4th and Mom did come to eat with us, but it was a nice evening.

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  5. A Happy Independence Day to you. With hopefully no train bearing down on you.
    I have to ask though. Is your cousin permanently on the hit list, or is it a particular error on their part at the moment?

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    1. I think calling her being on the official hit list is one letter off!

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    2. I was being couth. I can manage it some days.

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    3. you two are just bad and subversive!

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    4. Kylie, sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade!

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  6. Happy 4th to you. Your mom "helping" made me think of my mom wanting to "help" when she would come out here even though I genuinely prefer to get on with stuff on my own. Man, the creases she put INTO the ironing weren't worth thinking about! Anna

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    1. At my house Mom knows where I keep most stuff, but she has no clue at the lake place and she doesn't understand if I have to show her where everything is it is easier for me to do it by myself.

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  7. My Dad's mom used to read every. single. road sign. And add commentary, particularly if she could find a way to relate it back to things in her family/church that were on her mind. She had a hard time with silence too. :)

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    1. Usually when I drive to the lake I am by myself and enjoy the silence or music. Even if TheHub and I ride together we talk a few minutes then listen to music the rest of the way. I not only heard about every single thing she saw to comment on, but I also heard about every sick afflicted and dying person she knows, and my cousin.

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  8. I want to know all about your cousin....:)

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    Replies
    1. Due to the litigious nature of some people I would never put anything about that in writing.

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  9. I hope you had a great 4th. We are back today, laundry, and eating through the leftovers.

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  10. Thanks, Sam. It was a nice relaxing day. The worst thing about going away is bringing home the laundry

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  11. I really want to know about the cousin. Can you write a post and maybe use the words "a person who is not my cousin did such-and-such"?

    Love,
    Janie

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  12. My mother used to help me - I used to find unwashed plates that had been placed on the counter neatly put away in the cabinets. :)

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    Replies
    1. We are not quite there yet, but it is fast approaching.

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