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Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Reflections

Today I went to my aunts funeral. Uncle Bob and Laura were fortunate to have met each other after the deaths of their respective spouses and spent 30 plus years together until this final separation.  She was a very gracious woman, interested in all of us, and I don't think she ever thought of us as almost family. She embraced us and became part of the tribe.

At the funeral today, I met her daughters who are definitely a reflection of their mother, and I wish I had met them and spent time with both of them before today.

While I was at the service, I listened to the minister who was saying such nice things about Laura and it gave me pause to think what I hope people will remember about me.

First I hope people will remember I laugh__a lot! I find humor is almost everything and I laugh easily, and silently, and often inappropriately. My sons always say they can tell when I find something hysterical because my head is tossed back, my eyes are squinted, my mouth is grinning from ear to ear, my body is shaking with glee and I am not making a sound, except for occasional gasps for air. Don't know why I laugh this way. It just happens. All. The. Time. (All 3 sons do a pretty decent impression of me laughing, but then they crack up while doing it and they are not silent laughers.

I hope they will remember how much I love music, except for contemporary country and western and rap. Give me some old Charlie Pride or Patsy Cline and I am fine with country. This CW cross over stuff drives me insane and reminds me of Barry Manilow songs. It is basically the same song with the same riff and only the words change. (OK add Barry Manilow to music I don't like)

I hope they know I like to watch birds, dragon flies, butterflies, sunsets, moon rises, moving water, fluttering leaves, flowers (except for one particular shade of orange azaleas which truly makes me nauseous) and sunrises. I am a night owl and see very few sunrises so I really do relish seeing them when I am up early enough to enjoy them. I am very thankful for wintertime because sunrise comes at a decent hour! I have been known to sit on the  freezing deck at the lake place wrapped in a blanket just to enjoy the sunrise.

I enjoy theater, movies, kid performances of any kind, small intimate dinners or large parties (but only if there is some space around me. I am kind of insistent on having my very own social air space with no one intruding on it. I am very claustrophobic, and start suffocating if anyone is in "my space'.

I hope they remember I love hearing the bird's songs and children in the neighborhood playing outside. Sometimes I will open the door and sit just to listen to the giggles, yip and yells that come with kid play.

And mostly I hope they remember that I love people, individually and collectively. I love to people watch and appreciate the intricacies and peculiarities of people who are just living life, unaware I am sharing the moment with them. I love people I know who are part of my every day comings and goings. I love my family, both  my "obedient" family (Son 3 had heard the term immediate family when he was in kindergarten, and this was his take on it) as well as my extended family.I love those close friends who serve as a second family, friends who are not quite that close but equally essential, friends I have not seen for  while, old friends I have not seen in years, childhood friends who have come back into my life recently (Yes, you Mary Ann and Charlotte), friends I never see but remember fondly,and this group of Bloggers whom I have come to know even if we do not share a 3-d friendship.

So maybe I need to laugh more often, love more openly, listen to music loudly, dance badly (cause that is how I dance) sing either in or out of tune, and live boldly. We only have a short time on this planet.



Oh yeah, I also hope they remember my favorite word is verklempt!

            
                                           And I really like this song. It brings me joy

26 comments:

  1. If your family and friends do remember you that way, they are going to cry a puddle sufficient to drown themselves in.
    It sounds like an amazing tribute to me.
    And yes, Monty Python always cracks me up.

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    1. PS: Your aunt was definitely a part of the family - and I hope you can get to know her daughters better.

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    2. I am of the same vein my dad was about remembering. Before he died he told us to remember him with laughter and smiles.
      I would like to get to know Laura's daughters better but they both live in upstate NY and I am an Alabama redneck!

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    3. I hope to be remembered with love and laughter. Lots of both.

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  2. I love Barry Manilow. Some of my children's fondest memories and also my memories are of us singing Copacabana in the car with the radio turned up loud.

    Laura sounds like a very kind person. Hey, don't think these New Yorkers are all they think they are. Some of them are just rude hicks for all their airs. However, I am sure these daughters are as nice as Laura.

    You never make a sound when you laugh?

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    1. I make no noise when I laugh. No idea why.

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  3. I love the idea of "obedient" family and I'm sure you will be remembered for laughing, everyone likes to laugh

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  4. "I love to people watch and appreciate the intricacies and peculiarities of people who are just living life, unaware I am sharing the moment with them." I love this part-I'm a people watcher too and it annoys my children to no end. I'm sure all these lovely pieces of you will be ingrained in future generations.

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    1. You will notice I carefully left out the parts I hope they won't remember.

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  5. I am so happy to have met you in this blog world, but please no thoughts of leaving yet. We love so many of the same things. I am with you on music. Let's repeat the same chord progression over and over, and over........

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    1. I'm not thinking of checking out, but it did make me wonder how I will be remembered.
      Have you heard the CW mash up with about 20 different songs? There are a couple of bars of one followed by a couple of bars of the next, on and on. It essentially comes out as one song with weird words but the music never changes.

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  6. Funerals are certainly times for reflection and family time and it sounds like this one is no exception. I think you should add a couple of days on one of your trips to NYC when visiting your son to visit with your step-cousins. I think everyone would enjoy that.

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  7. I'm sorry for your family's loss, but I love your list of things you would like to be remembered for. (I'm a people watcher, too. :-) ).

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    1. They are fun to watch. I create stories while I am watching.

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  8. People will probably remember me as annoying.

    Love,
    Janie

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  9. Your aunt sounds like she was a wonderful person. So do you, for that matter.

    Did you delete your Crazy Train Tuesday post? I know I read it, but don't see it.

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    1. Yes I deleted it. I realized it was possible for my posts to accidentally get back to Mom and my intent was never to hurt her, but just to be a stress relief for me So I decided to discontinue it publicly and deleted all the posts. I will still write it, but just for My Beloved Sister and me.

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  10. I'm so sorry for your loss. All I can do is encourage you let those you know these things. To share and love and live. Because once you're gone, you will only live on through others.

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  11. I am glad we have met in this 2D world :) I was with siblings over the past 5 days and told them that if I fall into a deep crevasse while hiking at least I will have died doing something I love!

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  12. Sorry for your loss, Anne! Your aunt sounds special and great. I love to people watch also and to read your posts. Thanks and have a fun week!

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