Each week I am keeping a list of the joy I find every day Even the worst day has at least one joyful thing in it. My goal is to sit down on New Years Eve and reread these. So here is my list of joys for week six.
Feb 5 The weather was supposed to be very bad with storms and flooding. It was very warm out and the only rain jacket I own is fleece lined but I wore it anyway and also had an umbrella in the car. I have a theory that if I am prepared for rain it doesn’t happen. I was able to see about Mom, go to the grocery store, get everything unloaded and then run a couple of other errands while remaining dry ( hot but dry). Later in the afternoon my favorite Girl Scout brought 6 boxes of cookies. In addition to cookies I had a nice visit with her folks and her sister. They are my favorite neighbors.
Feb 6. I know this sounds like a very strange joy but I found a series of YouTube videos which led me to a Facebook group focusing on dealing with dementia. It is like watching Mom, but it helps me realize this is the norm for dementia patients. If interested, the YouTube user name is Joe Joe and the Facebook group is Molly’s Movement.
Feb 7 I went to Mom’s dearest friend’s funeral this morning. There is some joy that her ordeal is over, plus I enjoyed seeing her son and daughter. I have no memory of not knowing the two of them and if I look at photos old old birthdays, there they are.
Feb 8 We made a difficult decision to sell the lake place. Even though she has care givers around the clock on weekends mom is scared when we leave town ( I literally live 2 minutes from her house) As a result we spent a total of 3 nights there in 2019. Realistically the dementia is progressing rapidly, but my grandmother (her mom) lived to be 102. I certainly don't see that in Mom's future, but she could live several more years. We decided we were not getting the enjoyment from owning it, and only go down on Saturdays or Sundays for a couple of hours to work. So there is a bittersweet joy in just making a decision
Feb. 9 We had a daytime date to see Little Women, then watched the Academy Awards.
Feb 10 We were having intense rain and flooding. Though Moms house did not get flooded the creek in her backyard was extremely high. It left a huge (about 1/2 the size of a telephone pole) log in her backyard Free firewood for anyone who wants to cut it! Conversely the badminton poles that she has been trying to rehome for years were washed away. These were poles cemented into tractor tires, huge heavy things and now they are gone. And that is joyous, because I never have to think about them again
Feb. 11 I had to think hard about what was joyful because it was a difficult day for Mom. And if her day is hard, mine has to be also. I did watch the Westminster dog shop. I am not a poodle fan but that dog was a true pageant princess, even “ bowing” to the judges. So I count watching lovely dogs as my joy for the day.
I am also keeping a food diary which is really just for my benefit, to keep me honest
Keto diary
Feb 5: Breakfast: coffee. Lunch: leftover salad, salami slices, Dinner: BBQ pulled pork sandwich on keto bread, caulitato salad Snack: cheese slice and a handful of pecan
Feb 6: Breakfast: coffee Lunch: bacon, cucumber slices Dinner: crack chicken in lettuce wraps, brussels sprouts Snack: pork skins, dip, keto cup
Feb 7: Breakfast: coffee, Lunch: sausage, sliced keto bread, cucumber slices Dinner: hamburger patty, mushrooms, broccoli Snack: keto cup, pecans
Feb 8: Breakfast: coffee Lunch: BLT salad Dinner: rotisserie chicken, coleslaw Snack: coffee with cream, 3 sunbutter keto cookies
Feb. 9: Breakfast: bacon, keto toast, coffee Dinner: basil chicken over coleslaw ( had no cauliflower to rice) Snack; cheese and blueberries
Feb 10: Breakfast: coffee. Lunch: bits and pieces of leftover whatever ( literally a bite or two of several things) Dinner: pulled pork, collards, keto cornbread Snack:
Feb.11: Breakfast: coffee, Lunch leftover pulled pork and brussels sprouts Dinner: hamburger patty, caulimash, coleslaw Snack: strawberries and macadamia nuts
Do not be alarmed when you see the week 7 meals. I am going off keto for Valentined Day and headed to Pastry Arts as soon as my morning with Mom is over. Who knows, I may even swing by Cookie Fix also!
Feb 5 The weather was supposed to be very bad with storms and flooding. It was very warm out and the only rain jacket I own is fleece lined but I wore it anyway and also had an umbrella in the car. I have a theory that if I am prepared for rain it doesn’t happen. I was able to see about Mom, go to the grocery store, get everything unloaded and then run a couple of other errands while remaining dry ( hot but dry). Later in the afternoon my favorite Girl Scout brought 6 boxes of cookies. In addition to cookies I had a nice visit with her folks and her sister. They are my favorite neighbors.
Feb 6. I know this sounds like a very strange joy but I found a series of YouTube videos which led me to a Facebook group focusing on dealing with dementia. It is like watching Mom, but it helps me realize this is the norm for dementia patients. If interested, the YouTube user name is Joe Joe and the Facebook group is Molly’s Movement.
Feb 7 I went to Mom’s dearest friend’s funeral this morning. There is some joy that her ordeal is over, plus I enjoyed seeing her son and daughter. I have no memory of not knowing the two of them and if I look at photos old old birthdays, there they are.
Feb 8 We made a difficult decision to sell the lake place. Even though she has care givers around the clock on weekends mom is scared when we leave town ( I literally live 2 minutes from her house) As a result we spent a total of 3 nights there in 2019. Realistically the dementia is progressing rapidly, but my grandmother (her mom) lived to be 102. I certainly don't see that in Mom's future, but she could live several more years. We decided we were not getting the enjoyment from owning it, and only go down on Saturdays or Sundays for a couple of hours to work. So there is a bittersweet joy in just making a decision
Feb. 9 We had a daytime date to see Little Women, then watched the Academy Awards.
Feb 10 We were having intense rain and flooding. Though Moms house did not get flooded the creek in her backyard was extremely high. It left a huge (about 1/2 the size of a telephone pole) log in her backyard Free firewood for anyone who wants to cut it! Conversely the badminton poles that she has been trying to rehome for years were washed away. These were poles cemented into tractor tires, huge heavy things and now they are gone. And that is joyous, because I never have to think about them again
Feb. 11 I had to think hard about what was joyful because it was a difficult day for Mom. And if her day is hard, mine has to be also. I did watch the Westminster dog shop. I am not a poodle fan but that dog was a true pageant princess, even “ bowing” to the judges. So I count watching lovely dogs as my joy for the day.
I am also keeping a food diary which is really just for my benefit, to keep me honest
Keto diary
Feb 5: Breakfast: coffee. Lunch: leftover salad, salami slices, Dinner: BBQ pulled pork sandwich on keto bread, caulitato salad Snack: cheese slice and a handful of pecan
Feb 6: Breakfast: coffee Lunch: bacon, cucumber slices Dinner: crack chicken in lettuce wraps, brussels sprouts Snack: pork skins, dip, keto cup
Feb 7: Breakfast: coffee, Lunch: sausage, sliced keto bread, cucumber slices Dinner: hamburger patty, mushrooms, broccoli Snack: keto cup, pecans
Feb 8: Breakfast: coffee Lunch: BLT salad Dinner: rotisserie chicken, coleslaw Snack: coffee with cream, 3 sunbutter keto cookies
Feb. 9: Breakfast: bacon, keto toast, coffee Dinner: basil chicken over coleslaw ( had no cauliflower to rice) Snack; cheese and blueberries
Feb 10: Breakfast: coffee. Lunch: bits and pieces of leftover whatever ( literally a bite or two of several things) Dinner: pulled pork, collards, keto cornbread Snack:
Feb.11: Breakfast: coffee, Lunch leftover pulled pork and brussels sprouts Dinner: hamburger patty, caulimash, coleslaw Snack: strawberries and macadamia nuts
Do not be alarmed when you see the week 7 meals. I am going off keto for Valentined Day and headed to Pastry Arts as soon as my morning with Mom is over. Who knows, I may even swing by Cookie Fix also!
Hilarious that you are happy the flood took away a headache for you in your Mom's back yard. It is very sad about your lake place, what about renting it out? That way one day you can use it again? Plus get an income to pay for upkeep and taxes in the mean time? I never liked poodles either, until that was about the only animal we could get due to Hubby's allergies. Turns out they are the sweetest kindest companion animals ever, totally in love with my Buddy.Yes, they can be a little yappy at times, but so can alot of other dogs. He is such a good dog, never has done damage to anything in our house except his own toys and they are so freaking intelligent. We have to actually watch what we say around him (can't say walk, so we say w, can't say So and so is coming over or he sits at the front door waiting for them)
ReplyDeleteWhen I said I don't like poodles I meant the fancy pom mom wearing show poodles. I've never had one. I am a beagle lover and talk about loud! I have known lot of wonderful poodles
DeleteMy Shiatsu poodle is the most annoying thing ever, but I love him. I am sad for you on the lake place, but do understand. Even with all the family and now more year round, it feel like there is more work than enjoyment on our part because my husband doesn't get to use it enough.
ReplyDeleteI do understand. All we do is go down and work, then come home.
DeleteToo bad about the lake house and your inability to enjoy it. Lots of older people without dementia become upset and actually ill when their rock is out of town. My 94 yo neighbor did not have dementia but was frantic when her daughter went out of town for three days. I was the only one who could reassure her as I lived across the street and spent lots of time there.
ReplyDeleteWhat is a keto cup? Cookie Fix....yum!
Keto cups are things I buy that are similar to a Reese's, but are sugarless and covered with dark unsweetened chocolate.
DeleteIt's a shame that your mom's deteriorating health is the cause of selling the lake house. I know that renting can be nearly as much of a hassle, but perhaps it's an option?
ReplyDeleteHooray for Mother Nature for ridding your mom's yard of the unwanted. I can think of a few people I'd like to see swept away. (Was that my outside voice?)
Have a good week!
You have to make a decision with the information at hand and right now that info says sell. We could put it in the Air b&b market but we would have to take out additional insurance plus we would have to offer the boats as part of the rental which is a liability we are not willing to take. We could rent it on a yearly basis but would still have to do all maintenance. About a year after we bought it ( the year I spent working all the time to get your it more liveable) a perfect storm hit with my dad's illness, subsequent death, The Hubs job, and now Mom made it impossible to enjoy it.
DeleteIn the future, you may find a place you like even better at the lake. But for now, having the upkeep of the place off you plate has got to feel like a relief.
ReplyDeleteIt is a relief. Sad but we are not enjoying it at all.
DeleteI am loving this list of joy you are committed to. What a great idea. Bless is another blogger who finds gratitude or joy every single day. By recounting the list of joys every week, it just has to be uplifting. I may be borrowing this idea from you. I don't see any downside to it. Ha.
ReplyDeleteI read her gratitude list everyday and love it
DeleteLoving your list. Sad about the lake place, but decisions are good things.
ReplyDeleteI was sent an Advance Reader Copy of a book called Dancing with Dementia by Jemi Fraser whose mother has this dreadful disease. I laughed, I wept, I empathise, I sympathised. It comes out on the 31st of next month. Would you like me to send you a link when it is available?
And hooray for a keto-free Valentines. There are NO calories in chocolates which are given as a gift.
Please do send me the link. Today Mom was having a very bad morning so I decided to push the reset button. I asked her if there were no obstacles what she would like to do right now. I was unprepared for her answer "Rose"
DeleteNo idea what she meant, but tomorrow I am taking her some roses.
I will. Jemi also included some techniques she found (mostly) helped when they were haveing bad days. And some services which may be of help (though I skipped over that section because it wasn't of assistance to me).
DeleteI am glad that you were able to find something joyful, every day. Even if some of them were bitter-sweet. I'm sure the decision to sell the lake place was difficult and painful, but, hopefully, there will be a time when you can find another lake place to enjoy.
ReplyDeleteWe will probably never get another lake place but that is ok.At one time we thought we would sell our house here and relocate to the lake, but it is too rural for me, plus TheHub would have to go 13 miles out of the way for his recreational shopping.
DeleteLike the others I'm sorry to hear about the lake place but you're right, eventually it just becomes a second place to do housework at the weekend with none of the comforts of home. On the positive side you can still rent somewhere (else) any time you want and have none of the hassle of the upkeep. Having rented out our place in Florida I would NEVER do it again. I think as I've gotten older I don't want the hassle any more, even though it really wasn't the renters causing the problem but the crooks who called themselves a management company!
ReplyDeleteWe had a rental house in town for several years. Lesson learned! There is no way I will rent the lake house ever.
Delete❤️
ReplyDeleteThat is a hard decision to make about the lake house, but if you are not using it, there is so much work to keeping it up. Kind of like the dance studio. I was not getting compensated even though I loved it. Mom was so bad when I left. It just had to go and I am not sorry I let it go.
ReplyDeleteIt was hard but we made it and I guess it is a relief
ReplyDeleteHappy Valentine's Day.
ReplyDeleteI love your lists of joys. It's a great idea and a wonderful way of staying mindful of blessings. Have fun at Cookie Fix!
ReplyDeleteit's so hard when the parents get old isn't it? so many changes, so many heartbreaks. selling the family home etc. wishing you all the best.
ReplyDelete😀
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you broke keto for valentines! i bet it was worth it.
ReplyDeleteYou wont miss the lake house, possessions tie us down and give us worry. You can be freer and lighter now.
Keeping a joy list sounds an excellent idea, i should do that
I never thought I would say this but the chocolate was too sweet
DeleteToo bad about your lake place, but under the circumstances it certainly makes sense to let it go. My dad gets upset when we leave, too, even though my sister also lives in town and is totally capable and willing to do what we do when we're here. People don't like their routines interrupted, alas.
ReplyDeleteMom is living in an alternate universe now so we try to have as much consistency as possible for her. We may decide not to sell and we don't have to, but right now we are getting no enjoyment and all the work by keeping it.
ReplyDelete