I know I have been talking some about the issues Mom has, but thought I should introduce you to the woman who once occupied her body and mind.
Mom with me on my first Easter. I would have been 7 months old at the time and Mom was 24. She made my Easter outfit, including the bonnet and still has them in her cedar chest. Occasionally she gets it out for me to look at but I have to admit I have absolutely no sentimental attachment to it.
In this one I think she was probably a little under fifty. Judging from the water and sand they were probably in Seagrove Beach. Until a few years ago the beach was her happy place.
This is the last really good picture of her. Pip was a new baby, dad was still alive and Mom was mostly happy. It was a time when she was still clear headed and had not yet become so tiny. I miss a mother who could carry on a conversation and who smiled instead of being confused most of the time. I hope one day I will be able to remember her as she was in these photos.
Hugs.
ReplyDeleteThis is a lovely tribute to the woman she was. In my case, the distance of time did bring good memories to counteract some of the others.
I know Mom is in a place she would rather not be, with her grasp on what is vs. what isn't scrambled. This is much harder than watching disease wreck the body like it did with Dad. He was able to laugh and joke until the day before he died
DeleteShe's a striking looking lady Anne. What a lovely tribute, and yes it's hard when they no longer really inhabit their living body isn't it, although in my case it was my dad that went that way, not my mom. But remembering your picture of your dad as a young man you definitely take after him don't you!
ReplyDeleteI do favor my dad quite a bit, both in looks and outlook. When I was a kid I looked so much like him and so little like Mom that he would jokingly tell me I was his daughter and one day we were in the car on a rainy day when he saw a poor woman with her baby (My sister has dark hair and dark eyes and a darker complexion like Mom) . He said he felt sorry for them so he picked her up and let her be my mother and Jan be my sister.
DeleteHa ha, your dad sounds just like my dad!
DeleteI love that photo of her on the beach. It's so happy and vibrant.
ReplyDeleteI love that picture also.
DeleteI, too, grieved for the parents I once had. But I found the further away they slipped, the easier it was for me to find them in their new place and still enjoy being with them. I guess because there was no choice. Acceptance of reality was oh so hard.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the share of memories of your mom. She was a beautiful woman and apparently quite talented, too.
I have given up wanting the mom I formerly knew back, but I do wish the one I have now was a little easier to deal with. I would like for her to have at least a few moments each day where she was happy about anything.
DeleteThis Mother's day was tough for hubby. He can't even call his Mom, her alzheimers has turned her into an angry shrew who rarely communicates with real words anymore, when she does she just says she wants to die. Very sad. Plus we live in a different Province so only get to see her every few months. Aging is tough, it often takes away the people we love long before their bodies give it up. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for what your husband is going through. We are not quite at that place yet, but can hear the pounding hoofbeats as it approaches.
DeleteOh Anne what you are going through is so hard.. My mothers last words to me were so sweet. I was wiping down her face and neck with a cool wet cloth as she was running a fever. She held here little hands up to be wiped off and cooled and she said, in a very clear voice, "you take such good care of me". Then a seizure hit her and she was gone. But I like to think that she was back with me. My real mom for just that last second.
ReplyDeleteThat is so nice. I understand totally the difference between the normal mom and the "now" mom. It is so hard but I am so glad you had a moment of "regular" mom before she passed.
DeleteYour mother was a very vibrant lady when she was younger. I'm sorry for what she's going through, right now, and what you and your sister are experiencing. (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteLife takes twists and turns. I have learned to enjoy the good days and cuss like a sailor (mainly to myself but sometimes to my sister) on the bad days.
DeleteMy mom passed away in 2003 from cancer, just 9 days before her 75th birthday (and Christmas). I don't know if this will be your experience or not, but my memories now of mom are not the woman who was laying in the hospital bed but the mom before cancer. Part of that may be my mind's way of protecting me, but whenever I dream of her (doesn't happen often) she's as I would like to remember her.
ReplyDeleteAlzheimer's and dementia are such insidious diseases. My thoughts are with you.
It is hard on her, because she knows most of the time that her memory is leaving her.
DeleteYour mother was beautiful! My mother went fast from fall. Still, she lingered for a few weeks. But, her mind was clear. I hope my mind outlasts my body. My grandmother died of Alzheimer's and was nasty and mean to me, not the memaw I loved. But, she was not herself.
ReplyDeleteIt definitely changes the person who lived in the body before. I try very hard to be patient and kind but succeed only maybe 3/4 of the time.
ReplyDelete