I suppose I should post something, but I am in a rut and can't seem to pull myself out of it. I am not dealing with depression or angst, but just seem a little mired down with my current day to day living. Mom's knee is better and we did let the sitter go for the time being, but she really cannot take care of herself any longer. I got an emergency call from her yesterday afternoon when she couldn't find her inhaler. Fortunately I knew where an unopened one was and could tell her the exact location. She was gasping for air (partially asthma and partially panic) and hung up on me, so I grabbed my keys and went flying down to her house. I found her sitting in her chair and she was fine. Me? Not so much. I wound up talking to her about how difficult it is when she can no longer be responsible for her day to day living, but her need to control everything keeps My Beloved Sister and me from adequately providing for her. We are going to have to make some difficult decisions and I expect some fallout from Mom. Lots of fallout, disappointment and guilt.
I need chocolate and a stiff drink!
I need chocolate and a stiff drink!
Okay, while I will not recommend the drink, find some chocolate fast. You seem like a woman who keeps a stash in the house. So, how did she take it? I think you are wise to mention this often so it will maybe sink in and stick. I don't envy you. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Since starting Keto I have had no chocolate stash so I made chocolate coconut fat bombs and have eaten 2 today/
DeleteYou've got a lot on your plate. I hope you mom has a speedy recovery. It really doesn't sound like she should be living alone anymore, but boy, how do you convince her of that. At least you have your sister, so it's two against one in the convincing. When it will come time for my mom, it will only be me trying to convince her.
ReplyDeleteIt is difficult and part of me does not want to assume the role of "parent" to my parent.
DeleteAnne I know ow hard this is especially with a mom like yours (mine was the same) You just have to do it. See how easy it is to give advice, Hmmmm.....,
ReplyDeleteI know you walked this same walk and know how hard it is.
DeleteThese tough times were definitely made for wine and chocolate. Hugs - no advice to give, just one day at a time
ReplyDeleteI am thinking I might need bigger guns than wine. Right now a martini sounds really good!
DeleteBless you all... I'm sure it's a tough situation to sort out.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard, and sad, and frustrating.
DeleteI am so sorry. Been there, done that, loathe the t-shirt.
ReplyDeleteHeartfelt hugs. Chocolate and/or a drink sounds fine. Even necessary.
Thank you so much. I know those who have already dealt with this know there is no perfect solution for all parties.
DeleteI have more experience than I wish I did in aging parents who are no longer able to care for themselves. All I can say is that you have to do whatever you need to to keep them safe. That's where you start. Actually, first you start with the chocolate.
ReplyDeleteI know you have experienced all of this. Her safety is my primary concern right now. Well, after chocolate!
DeleteOh I'm so sorry. I never got landed with that responsibility as I live in France but I know how hard it was on my sister. However, once mom did go into a home she loved it. Of course she had visitors every day and plenty of outings (the home was very good) but best of all my sister said she got her relationship with mom back. Good luck and enjoy that drink!
ReplyDeleteMom does not like or accept change and it is happening daily.
DeleteIt's funny, a lot of people I know here in AL are in a funk. I think it's the heat. It's been enough already.
ReplyDeleteI even like summer and the last few days have been a little taxing.
DeleteI feel for you. I really do. We just last year got my parents (dad 90/mom 86) to move out of their split level home (lots of stairs!!) & into independent living apartment. OMG. All 8 of us kids had been trying to talk them into moving for the last 10 years (my dad was still caring for the 1/4 acre lot!) but no, no, no, they wanted to stay there - had lived there 53 years). So finally my dad put his foot down & told my mom they were moving. She still misses home, but thank God we can all now rest easy knowing they are safe & secure, being fed a nice dinner daily in the dining room, can come/go as they please (but we are hoping they give up driving SOON!) - transportation bus takes them out & about (store/bank/doct.) library next door. It's truly 5-star living but my mom still misses home. My, dad, on the other hand is loving the new "social life!" Your mom may end up liking it once she settles in. I know your stress. Hope you & sister can talk her into moving. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteThank you. It is nice to hear from others who have crossed this bridge.
DeleteI got behind in reading blogs, so my apologies. Elder care is such a draining time in life-I remember so well. If you and your sister can make sure each gets some head time to not think about stuff if even a few hours a week, take advantage of it or you will burn out.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard mainly because Mom seems to think we are trying to interfere in her life rather than keep her safe and as happy as possible.
DeleteOh dear! What a stressful time for you! My mom's cancer has returned and she has stomach pains that the nursing home is treating with pain meds. There won't be any more surgery, since Mom's dementia really took a hit with the last one. So she's having stomach pains and doesn't know why. or doesn't remember why. I'm relating tho with my MIL and her issues too. yikes! These women are stubborn! And we'll be them someday...
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your mom's condition. Life gets a little difficult sometimes and it certainly keeps us on our toes.
DeleteI'm sorry you had to go through that and undoubtedly there will be more "events" before you get a solution organised.
ReplyDeleteMy parents are still independent but I can see them developing a helplessness I don't like and with my own disability I don't look forward to the coming stage...
I guess I am worried that the next event could possibly be the worst yet.
Delete(((HUGS))) Hope you and your sister are able to make a decision on her behalf.
ReplyDeleteChocolate and a stiff drink can definitely help. Just remember, it's not you -- it's her. Still hurts though, I know.
ReplyDeleteBless you all... I'm sure it's a tough situation to sort out.Thanks for sharing,keep sharing more blogs.
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