Ever had one of those days that start out not great, then take a turn for the better where you are really enjoying things, only to have some huge disturbance in the force and things go from just irritating to worse?
I have mentioned before that Mom can be a tad difficult. Two weekends ago we had a family reunion and Mom face planted on the deck. She blamed my cousin for having an uneven board rather than admitting she fell off her sandals. Yep, if you are 87 and a tad unsteady sandals should not be your footwear of choice. Anyway fast forward to this past Saturday. It seems she fell again in her house and wound up hitting the ceramic tiles in the bathroom leaving her unable to stand. She recovered in about an hour and was walking, but was using my dad's Alpine walking sticks. (He felt he was much too cool to use a cane and the walking sticks suited him just fine) Instead of using one in each hand putting one in front of her body in alternating fashion, she used just one and held it in front of her like she was riding a hobby horse or propelling a gondola. Long story short she refused to go to the doctor and kept refusing.
Until today. I had just gotten back from an early morning airport run since MyBeloved Sister and her husband are taking a long overdue trip to DC for some sight-seeing. I did stop at the grocery store on the way home for some cashews and macadamias, but it only added about 10 minutes to the total round trip time. I walked in the door and saw the phone blinking. Without even looking I knew who it was and what they wanted. I checked my voicemail and heard "Anne I need to go to the doctor"
Selfishly I told Mom I had made plans and would not be home until 1 but I would take her then. She was not sure she was OK with that but I was not going to change my plans since she would not go see about it when asked a million times in the past few days.
I even involved TheHub who called the clinic manager and got them to leave the back door open so we would not have to sit in the waiting room. (I hate people who use privileges, unless it is me dealing with Mom and then I will accept every single advantage I can find) They rushed us in a room, offered us bottles of water and coffee while we waited, but__ their room was too cold, the xray machine was uncomfortable, the room floors and the hall floor didn't match, the Dr. was dawdling, she was tired, her back hurt, she didn't get to eat enough for lunch plus I had a white thread on my black slacks and it was bugging her. By that time there was no amount of money anyone could have offered me to remove the offensive thread.
Well the xrays were processed, the doc did come back into the room only to tell us her kneecap was broken in two places. Great. Again I got TheHub involved and had him call an orthopedist he is friends with. After a quick call to me they agreed to wait at their office until we got there. We pulled out of the clinic parking lot and went straight to the orthopedists office. After more films and a gozillion new patient forms we saw the doc only to find she is now having surgery at the crack of dawn tomorrow.
I hope MBS enjoys the sights and sounds of the city. I will be in the waiting room
The upside? I hired a sitter to say overnight with her for a few days. I can go over during the day but I am not going to spend he night and thankfully the doc told her she would need help, Still you might notice some action on the richter scale when she finds out I "went behind her back" and hired someone
I have mentioned before that Mom can be a tad difficult. Two weekends ago we had a family reunion and Mom face planted on the deck. She blamed my cousin for having an uneven board rather than admitting she fell off her sandals. Yep, if you are 87 and a tad unsteady sandals should not be your footwear of choice. Anyway fast forward to this past Saturday. It seems she fell again in her house and wound up hitting the ceramic tiles in the bathroom leaving her unable to stand. She recovered in about an hour and was walking, but was using my dad's Alpine walking sticks. (He felt he was much too cool to use a cane and the walking sticks suited him just fine) Instead of using one in each hand putting one in front of her body in alternating fashion, she used just one and held it in front of her like she was riding a hobby horse or propelling a gondola. Long story short she refused to go to the doctor and kept refusing.
Until today. I had just gotten back from an early morning airport run since MyBeloved Sister and her husband are taking a long overdue trip to DC for some sight-seeing. I did stop at the grocery store on the way home for some cashews and macadamias, but it only added about 10 minutes to the total round trip time. I walked in the door and saw the phone blinking. Without even looking I knew who it was and what they wanted. I checked my voicemail and heard "Anne I need to go to the doctor"
Selfishly I told Mom I had made plans and would not be home until 1 but I would take her then. She was not sure she was OK with that but I was not going to change my plans since she would not go see about it when asked a million times in the past few days.
I even involved TheHub who called the clinic manager and got them to leave the back door open so we would not have to sit in the waiting room. (I hate people who use privileges, unless it is me dealing with Mom and then I will accept every single advantage I can find) They rushed us in a room, offered us bottles of water and coffee while we waited, but__ their room was too cold, the xray machine was uncomfortable, the room floors and the hall floor didn't match, the Dr. was dawdling, she was tired, her back hurt, she didn't get to eat enough for lunch plus I had a white thread on my black slacks and it was bugging her. By that time there was no amount of money anyone could have offered me to remove the offensive thread.
Well the xrays were processed, the doc did come back into the room only to tell us her kneecap was broken in two places. Great. Again I got TheHub involved and had him call an orthopedist he is friends with. After a quick call to me they agreed to wait at their office until we got there. We pulled out of the clinic parking lot and went straight to the orthopedists office. After more films and a gozillion new patient forms we saw the doc only to find she is now having surgery at the crack of dawn tomorrow.
I hope MBS enjoys the sights and sounds of the city. I will be in the waiting room
The upside? I hired a sitter to say overnight with her for a few days. I can go over during the day but I am not going to spend he night and thankfully the doc told her she would need help, Still you might notice some action on the richter scale when she finds out I "went behind her back" and hired someone
Aaaargh.
ReplyDeleteAnd well done on hiring a sitter. I suspect you are going to have to hang on to every shred of sanity in your grasp in the recovery period.
I hope the surgery goes well, and will hold you and your family in my heart.
The surgery went well, now the fun times begin! Thank you for your thoughts.
DeleteIt seems you rush to her whenever she calls and she is the boy who cried wolf. There was no way you could know the extent of her injury. You were NOT selfish. Did she break it that morning? She will need lots of help now. So, she is not going to be happy with the extent of help she is going to need going forward. Maybe pain medication will keep her quiet. I have known two young and healthy athletic people who broke knee cap in half, and they were practically helpless for weeks.
ReplyDeleteThat is almost funny about the white thread on your black slacks! LOL..sister escaped just in time. Sorry about all this.
Either my sister or I do respond quickly to her needs, and we agree that we are going to hire some help for her. She is not going to be happy but we need to do it so that we can have a healthy relationship with her.
Deletei feel ya!
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteOh my goodness, poor you and poor mom. I used to enjoy your crazy train Tuesdays but I guess even though you are no longer publishing them the crazy train keeps chugging along doesn't it. So sorry.
ReplyDeleteLife just gets more and more interesting. Amazingly when Mom was the exact same age I am right now, she and Dad were touring Switzerland for a month. I go to the lake for the weekend and all hell breaks loose.
DeleteI had an aunt that used to fall a lot. She face planted into a NYC sidewalk once and looked like Rocky after 15 rounds. I hope the surgery goes well and I'm glad you have hired someone to be with her to save your sanity. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteThe surgery went very well. Now the really fun recovery part is starting.
DeleteIt's all hard. There's a big transition coming with help and I won't be surprised if we feel the effects up here where I live. As you probably know, each trauma she suffers such as a fall or an illness may result in some kind of set back that she won't quite recover from. That was the pattern for my mother and I learned is quite common. When she fell and broke her hip was the first time we saw some dementia with her. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I need all the luck I can find. The push back will be intense and I am prepared for it.
DeleteYou have my sympathy. Hopefully her recovery physically will go well, but her mood with you I am sure will linger. Perhaps time for your sis to exchange with you once she is back and you can have some time at the lake-no phones allowed.
ReplyDeleteThis is probably the straw that broke the camels back. Dad left Mom with provisions of whatever direction her life took and now MBS and I are making some decisions she is not happy with. She is more than happy to help with Mom, but is dealing with a husband who is battling cancer and also a full time job. Her plate is full.
DeleteWell crap! It's bad enough she's had the falls but to be so stubborn to not go to the DR until so late, well that just sucks. Hugs, don't know what to say except I feel for you
ReplyDeleteI am not irritated that she fell but I am teed that after repeated begging she would not go see about it, until it fit her timeline.
DeleteOh, dear. I am so sorry. I know how hard it can be. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
ReplyDeleteWow....take care of yourself while you are taking care of her. (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteThank you! Right now I just want/need a little sleep...and chocolate
DeleteI am so sorry. Surgery at 87 is no joke. I hope all goes well, but I know you are tired. Falls are what really took our mom.
ReplyDeleteWhen she fell the first time MBS and I looked at each other and said "It Begins" It seems that brutal falls at her age are the undoing of everything.
DeleteSo sorry Anne. I hope her surgery goes well. *Hugs*
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you. I just spent the bulk of 2 1/2 years in South Dakota with my Dad and Step Mom, and I'm glad you got some help = you might want to get some during the day, too! And I'm glad you're trying to set some boundaries. When I think back on it, I would have changed a lot and done a lot more of both. And insisted on family help. (Who all reverted to spoiled children) Hope she's recovering well!
ReplyDeleteWell she did sit in her Chair at home with me, the sitter and my future DIL all watching her. She gave us the royal wave and said "The Queen is here". It is going to be a crazy ride!
DeleteI'm so sorry to read that she fell and needed surgery, but glad she got through the surgery OK and she's home, again. She might just accept the fact that she needs the care giver, or she might fight back. I went through a similar experience with my mother and now, my cousins are going through it with their mother. Try not to let it get to you. (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteThanks Bless. It is hard to remember it is part of age progression rather than personal
ReplyDeleteHoly cow, she and my MIL could be twins! I'm so sorry she got hurt.
ReplyDeletebut cripes... white thread???! What were you thinking?!
I am a renegade.
ReplyDeleteI didn't realize there was more info here. I was waiting for a post. My friend, prof and has dementia fought the nursing home and is now happy as a lark. You never can tell how things will go.
ReplyDeleteI hope we can keep her at home with some home care, but I have no idea how it will turn out.
DeleteMy friend has no children, husband is dead, and she has money, just no one to manage things.
DeleteSigh, I feel like I'm reading about my life. My dad is 97 and really starting to have problems. Really should be in assisted living but refuses, so we found him some home-care help. Which is working out pretty well, to my amazement (he complains more than your mom about everything). I feel for you -- your facing a situation that just isn't easy, and nothing you do will be "right." Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI have decided there is no "right" answer, just an answer for right now.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteSo, how is she doing?
ReplyDeleteOk, I had to laugh about her complaints while at the dr office. I wouldn't have removed that white thread either.... My dad is in good health, but one never knows what he may say amongst all the other people in the waiting room. He is hard of hearing and speaks louder than he realizes. I told my brothers that they haven't lived until they have sat with Dad in the waiting room, holding one's breath, waiting for the next shocker to come out of his mouth. Good thing you have connections and can bypass the waiting room! lol
ReplyDeleteThanks Bless. It is hard to remember it is part of age progression rather than personal
ReplyDeleteหนังà¸à¸à¸™à¹„ลน์
i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteor
call/whatsapp:+2349057261346
i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
or
call/whatsapp:+2349057261346