It is seriously summertime here and its hot. Damn hot!
Monday: TheHub worked from his home office most of the day while I did very little. We were both still feeling exceptional tiredness after the Covid onslaught and felt like doing little.
I was scheduled to volunteer at Independence Place, but did not want to risk still being contagious. I could not bear the thought of passing it on to even one participant, but I really did going.
This was the first "normal" week (day) we had following TheHub's retirement and it is going to be as big of an adjustment for me as it is for him.
This was the first "normal" week (day) we had following TheHub's retirement and it is going to be as big of an adjustment for me as it is for him.
I have lived most of our married life as a stay at home mom, then after the kids were grown and gone, just a stay at home whatever. Consequently, after the kids left, I had no one else to consider (other than the years Mom and Dad needed help) on a daily basis.
TheHub's job was extremely demanding and for past 4 years I was in almost complete control of my week days and most weekends while he basically gave his life to the company. This change was abrupt!
Fortunately there were a few things left for him to wrap up, so I guess he is just mostly retired.
But he's home for lunch!
I have never done lunch unless it was meeting friends occasionally. My lunch at home was always sitting down with a book and eating spoonfuls of whatever bits and pieces were leftover, while music played in the background.
A dedicated lunchtime ( It seems he thinks noon is an acceptable lunchtime?!?!?!?!) with a lunch buddy is going to take getting used to. I am not sure this old dog is ready to learn new tricks.
Tuesday: I feel horrible for saying this, but one of my biggest joys was TheHub going into the office for 5 hours. While he was gone I got some things done and even had time for a phone call with Sluggy!
He came home for a late lunch, but I did have time when the entire house was mine!
We are going to need to establish some sort of lunch protocol. All of his working life TheHub ate out at lunch, always eating whatever sounded tasty on any given day.
I don't mind cooking, but I am not going to be in the kitchen all day preparing food, and the rules say you don't get to eat what sounds good, you just have to eat whatever is available. We will see how that works out. I suspect I will need to make several things each week to have on hand for a do it himself meal.
Wednesday: TheHub decided to go into the office again. I was not complaining! I was able to enjoy uninterrupted coffee time while listening to music and reading blogs. Whoo hoo! Simple pleasures are outstanding!
TheHub called to tell me he was on his way home__for lunch. We did decide to go out for a quick bite somewhere, and decided we will do it once a week, at least for a while.
After we ate we ran by Snapper Grabbers because we were both in the mood for seafood. A true joy was finding Sand Mountain tomatoes there. They are so good and pretty hard to find outside of North Alabama.
Thursday: Retirement is not going to be so bad if TheHub keeps going into the office for at least half a day. I am good to go as long as I can ease into the day with coffee and reading.
Friday: TheHub has been taking my car into the office each day, because his is sick and he can't figure out how to jump it off. It is not my fault he has one of those cars that needs "special" mechanics and has a convoluted engine.
And I NEED my car so I can go wherever I want, whenever I want to go.
My car, my car, my kingdom for my car!
I needed to go to the grocery store to restock produce and a pick up a few things I was out of. Wouldn't you know he came home and decided he would go with me. What?!?!?!?!
You have to understand for decades I have been shopping by myself, I know food prices, and I know what I buy.
TheHub is an accountant by trade and quite frankly I do not need to know the 1/8 ounce price of every single item I buy, nor do I need a running commentary on what the "best" buys are.
There is an upside however. He wanted to go out to lunch before shopping so there was no lunch for me to make, and, for the first time in forever, I actually have help unloading the car and putting things away.
Plus the additional set of eyes curbed my usual secret chocolate purchase. Curses, foiled!
Saturday: I am still overly tired, which I am assuming is from the brush with Covid. TheHub is also very tired. We are ready to be done with it.
We ran around doing a few Saturday morning errands and were home by 10:45. I am glad we started early because hot and humid was an understatement by the time we returned home.
And lest anyone think I am oblivious to everything going on Saturday, I am not, but my blog is non political, and I prefer to keep it that way.
Sunday: We had a lazy hot day with a lot of reading, then more reading!
Books read in July
Lady Tan's Circle Of Women
The Everlasting Meal
Listen to the Colors
The Night Parade
Disturbing The Dead
Look for your joys, no matter how small. They are always out there*.
May all your weeds be wildflowers.
Anne
*Even though this is a pretty crabby post, I am still joyful.
Time alone is precious isn't it? I get mine in the early morning while himself is still in bed. Good luck in your period of adjustment - and I hope that fatigue passes quickly.
ReplyDeleteI had heard others who had Covid talking about being overly tired afterward and I thought they were just being silly. I was wrong.
DeleteTime alone is a gift!
I swear I was more productive at home before hubs retired. We still do our own thing in the day, but it took some getting use to. 13 yrs in (retired) & we still like each other! LOL
ReplyDeleteI know we will navigate this change, but it is going to take both of us getting used to it.
DeleteThis makes me wonder (about) Tom's mindset when I retired. Compromise is a b**** sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI know he was thrilled you retired. I am glad TheHub retired even though he is still going into the office.
DeleteI don’t have a husband, but I have a middle son who also has food issues because of being on the spectrum. It is easier to give him money on the weekends and let him go buy a lunch than to deal with his moods regarding food. That would probably work for a husband also. I had one and I was not successful at remaining married so remember that when taking marriage advice from me… lol. I am a loner so the idea of someone coming along with me on my grocery shopping is the stuff of nightmares! Cindy in the South
ReplyDeleteTheHub does not have food issues, he just has decades and decades of eating out every day and choosing what suits him that moment. Plus it is not like I don't always have food available. He is going to have to learn to roll with the lunch punches or go out. His choice!
DeleteI don't know how he feels about leftovers but could you have him eat leftovers from the night before (or the previous night)? I know some people wouldn't dream of it and if that's the case, sorry I'm out of ideas. Oh and I've been offline for quite a while and didn't you know you had had covid. I hope you both start feeling better really soon!
ReplyDeleteHe is not a fan of leftovers, but once we get into a better routine maybe he will start enjoying them for lunch.
DeleteThe tiredness after covid is real! Thank goodness, Tommy is pretty self-sufficient with food. He has never been married, so having me around to cook so he has leftovers makes him very happy. Hopefully, you will hit on a sweet spot for him. Maybe you could hit upon a combination like salad one day, lunch another, out to eat another, leftovers another. That is four days right there, wild card another. Maybe he can learn a new pattern of eating. I believe you and back you on no being in the kitchen all day. Thankfully, Tommy is easy to shop with. Otherwise, I would probably have to murder him...lol.
ReplyDeleteI know we will figure it out, and as long as he keep pretending he is retired and goes to work anyway, there will be no issues. Plus once the weather cools down a little he will start playing golf a couple of times a week and eating at the club
DeleteMy husband will go shopping with me sometimes, but I usually tell him to wait outside for me or take a walk and come back in 30 minutes. I love my time alone with my workout and yoga, but usually in early morning.
ReplyDeleteI have to have some alone time, just to think.
DeleteTBG retired 11 years ago and it was a HUGE adjustment for us. He does still have the Tae Kwon Do school which keeps him busy for a few hours in the evenings during the week and that's when I get a bit of alone time. You'll figure out a new routine I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteI know we will adjust to this. It is just a little hard (especially for me) right now.
DeleteMy husband retired two years ago and it was a big adjustment for him. However, I was still working and found it nice to come home to a clean kitchen and vacuumed house. I'm thinking about retiring, so that will be another adjustment -mostly for me as I get into another headspace for a new phase of my life. You and your hubs will get a new normal, but it will probably take awhile. In the meantime, it can't be easy starting all of this with COVID.
ReplyDeleteHonestly the week we had covid (other than being sick) was pretty easy. Neither of us wanted to eat so we lived off of soup and crackers mainly, and just lounged around asking each other how we felt.
DeleteNot food related, but relative to your husband's semi-retirement. I have found that people don't always transition easily into retirement especially when they have expertise that isn't easily transferrable or if they haven't considered what they will do with their time after they leave work. Often the former will be enticed back to work, as my friend S was - she retired a year after I did and went back on contract almost immediately. She now says her final contract will be complete at the end of April 2025, after 5 years of supposed retirement. My next door neighbour, on the other hand, was someone who had no idea what she would do in retirement and went back to work full-time before her first year of retirement was complete. She's since fully retired, but only due to significant health problems.
ReplyDeleteEarly days, I'm sure the two of you will find what works best for both.
TheHub has worked since he was 13 (various jobs through college and as an accountant the week after he graduated through the present) and identifies himself by what he does. It is going to take him some time to figure out who he is beyond his work title.
DeleteYou will find your new normal! Is he into sandwiches? Maybe some nice bread and assorted meats so he can do up a sandwich as he pleases?
ReplyDeleteHe will do a sandwich sometimes, but not everyday. I do keep things here for makingn them.
DeleteI've read about women whose husband's retire and then they are home way more often during the day. Maybe dh can make lunch these days? That might be fun!
ReplyDeleteIf he will just make his own, I'll be happy to keep the fridge stocked with options.
DeleteHi Anne, I found you from Debby and enjoyed reading your blog. It gave me a good laugh. There is always adjusting in marriage and alone time is important. Sorry to hear you got Covid. It is going around again. Take care.
ReplyDeleteThank you Susan. I am just glad we caught this variant of Covid. We felt really bad but it was short lived and other than still being really tired it has not been too bad.
DeleteYes, Covid fatigue is real, according to what several people have told me. Just give yourself time to recover fully and get the rest you need. I took 3 months of vacation before I retired (had to use up the vacation time I had accumulated) and by the time my official retirement took place, I was well adjusted to being retired! But, then, it was just only me; I didn't have to adjust to how someone else's retirement impacted me. Maybe establish a new routine of going out to eat lunch every day?
ReplyDeleteI woukd not mind TheHub going out to lunch each day, but I don't want to. There are days all I want to do is throw on some shorts and a tee shirt and stay home all day.
Delete