The Great Zucchini Race is On

As some of you may know, I love music, and am a threat to create lyrics for existing songs* as I go about my day.

For example, when we were teens My Beloved Sister and I would sing different words to the old Fiddler on the Roof song "Tradition".

Relentless, relentless, Rentless!

Relentless, relentless, relentless!

Who has to right to scrutinize her daughters

Make them both feel guilty,

Tell them they are wrong.

And who has the right as the mother of the house

To have the final say alone!

The Momma! The Momma!

I still create new lyrics to songs and hum the tunes, especially if I am angry with TheHub. He may think I am just humming the Armour Hotdog tune, but in reality my mind is singing (at the top of my lungs) some very rude lyrics about what type of jerk I might think he is at that particular moment.

The other day after harvesting some regular zucchini, and one exceedingly big one, I started singing out loud (to the tune of What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor)

"What do you do with a huge zucchini (repeat 2 times) Throw it at your neighbor"

That would be a sad thing to do because I really do like my neighbors, plus the full on onslaught of zucchini has not started yet, so it is much to early for zucchini flinging!

Since the rules of gardening declare I cannot let anything go to waste, and this one had gotten too big to be a delicious tender sautéed dish I grated it. Then I remembered a recipe I copied into an old handwritten cookbook I had when the kids were little and I found all new recipes in magazines. It must have been about sneaking vegetables into foods kids love because I had copied pages of veggie laden "treat" recipes. I did change it to make it keto but, other than the flours and the sugar substitute, it was the same recipe I had way before we had a home computer.

Zucchini Brownies

1 cup grated zucchini, squeeze all the liquid out

3/4 cup almond flour (the original called for 1 cup flour)

1/4 cup coconut flour (I might have done better with  3 tablespoons of coconut flour but the 1/4 cup worked ok)

3/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 cup cocoa

1 egg, beaten

1/2 cup sugar substitute that has 1to1 measuring ratio with sugar  (I used monk fruit, or use sugar if you are not doing keto)

1/4 cup butter, melted

1 teaspoon vanilla

1/4 cup chocolate chips (I used Lily's sugar free)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Squeeze as much liquid out of the zucchini as possible. I stuck mine in a large sieve and pressed with the back of a spoon until it was almost dry. Set it aside

Mix the flours. soda, salt and cocoa in a small bowl

In a medium bowl add the egg, sugar substitute. melted butter and vanilla and blend very well. Use a mixer if you'd like but I prefer to just stir with a wooden spoon. Add in the flours and stir, stir and stir some more. When using the nut fours you don't have to worry as much about over beating because there is no gluten  to worry about. This stuff will be thick. Coconut flour tends to absorb a lot of moisture, so stir in the nearly dry zucchini and mix it well. The residual liquid will soften the batter some. Add the chocolate chips and stir to distribute.

Grease an oven proof 8x8 pan (what am I talking about? I spray mine with Pam because it is easier, but you do your way) and spread the batter evenly into the pan. (An offset spatula really does help with this step)

Bake for about 25 minutes, remove from the oven and let it cool. This is kind of a critical step when using almond flour. If you try to cut it and take it out of the pan while it is warm it tends to crumble.

I served this with a small bit of Rebel vanilla "ice cream" which is an uber low carb product. Son2, Dil2 and TheHub all had it, and none of them are ketonians. Son2 had a second serving, which is the litmus test of how well received it was. 

I thought it was really good, but did not particularly like it a couple of days later. Next time I will halve the recipe and make just enough for one meal's dessert.

It was good, had a nice consistency for a keto dish, and passed the guests test. All in all, I would say it was a winner and I will do it again this zucchini season.

*I blame Mad Magazine and my neighbor Bobby C. for this lyric habit of mine. When we were kids our parents played canasta with his parents sometimes and we were too young to leave at home, so we would go with them to the house and sit quietly and amuse ourselves. Bobby had a huge collection of Mad Magazines and I was a reader, so the entire time the adults played cards, Bobby would build model cars and My Beloved Sister and I would read.  I do not know if it was the brilliance of the satire in the magazines or inhaling  the airplane glue fumes, but one of the magazines had some altered words to songs I knew. For some stupid reason, to this day I still remember Mad's altered words to "Hello Dolly" AKA "Hello Deli" and "Moon River "AKA "Chopped Liver" 

And I have not been right in the head since then!  (Ok maybe Mad and airplane glue is not totally to blame for my skewed outlook on life, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.)

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Stuffing Our Faces

Each week I make a meal plan and most weeks I actually make 3 or 4 meals from the plan. This week was no exception. The only meal I am almost positive to honor every single week is the take out meal! We are masters of take out.

What was planned:

1. Pulled pork, caulitato salad, squash casserole, keto version of strawberry pretzel salad (which is a dessert!)

2. White bbq chicken, zucchini (lookout meal plan; the garden is on!) leftover caulitato salad 

3. Veggie meal dependent on what is available at the produce stand Tuesday. keto cornbread

4. Grilled steak, zucchini fries, tossed salad

5. Thai chicken lettuce wraps

6. Greek chicken skillet, sautéed yellow squash, tossed salad

7. Take out/eat out/ blt  (unsure at the moment)

What we actually ate:

 Monday: TheHub took the day off for Memorial Day and we just did some general yard work and got my horse trough ready for planting. I suppose we could have smoked some pork, but I had packs in the freezer from a previous smoking event, so why bother? 

Pulled pork with Ollies sauce, caulitato salad, sautéed yellow squash and onions, keto pretzel salad

Tuesday: TheHub wanted to go to Costco after work so we did. One the way home we called our favorite Mexican restaurant, placed the order, then grabbed our dinner  there.

Take out from La Paz. Fiesta salad  with chicken or the Mexican dinner plate

Wednesday: I intended to have a veggie meal but found the leftover crab cakes in the fridge. Normally I would have eaten them for lunch, but I had been doing work at Mom's each day and skipped lunch. There was no way I was going to throw them out.  Warming them is why every single home needs an air fryer. They tasted just like they did the day I made them. This was a strange meal that did not go together at all, but it fed us.

Leftover crab cakes, squash casserole, collards

Thursday: I was not in the mood to spend much time cooking and this quick meal was on my menu plan anyway.

Thai chicken lettuce wraps, cucumbers, tomato slices

Friday  DIL2 and Son2 were here for some ball game watching and a quick dinner.

Pizza or crustless pizza, keto zucchini brownies w/ keto 'ice cream"

Saturday: Neither of us wanted a big dinner 

Turkey and ham sandwiches or deconstructed breadless sandwich 

Sunday: Son2 and Dil2 came over for more ball game watching and lunch. As luck would have it the ball game had a long rain delay and was not over until about 8:30. After they left we made a mad dash to Arby's for a 2/$6 meal.

Arby's Greek Gyros (If you have not had this, I recommend giving it a shot. We thought they were really good fast food)

What we might have this week:

1. Greek skillet chicken, sautéed squash, tomato slices

2. Grilled steak, zucchini fries, tossed salad, dinner rolls or keto rolls

3. Meat loaf, mixed squash medley,cole slaw

4. Veggie dinner TBD based on the garden and produce stand

5. Grilled snapper/caulimash or real mashed potatoes, green beans, tossed salad

6. Chicken fajita salad

7. Takeout or eat out

I have got to start using more from my freezer. It is about to be harvest time, which means I will be putting a boatload of summer produce in it for the winter. I need space, so every meal on the plan this week utilizes freezer items. 

Have a great week staying on plan, going off plan, or with no plan at all!

Thai Time

Want something that sounds exotic, tastes great and takes just minutes to make? Then this is the dish for you.

Thai Chicken Lettuce Wraps

1 tablespoon olive oil (can also use coconut oil)

1/2 onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced ( Except I don't mince. I use a garlic press. Shhh__don't tell)

5 scallions, sliced in rounds

1/2 pint mushrooms, chopped in small bits

1 pound ground chicken (use turkey if it is easier to find)

1 tablespoon Sriracha

2 tablespoons coconut aminos (can use soy sauce instead)

2 tablespoons rice vinegar

sprinkle or more of dried red peppers (I love hot stuff but you can eliminate this)

clean dry lettuce leaves (Boston Bibb, butter, or red leaf all work well)

This is about the easiest thing you can make for a quick dinner that tastes like you actually slaved over it.

Put the olive oil in a skillet, bring to medium high heat, and add the chopped onion. Cook until it is translucent than add the garlic stirring quickly so it will not burn. Toss in the scallions and mushrooms and stir until they are soft, then add the chicken cooking it until there is no pink. Add all the liquids and the red pepper flakes, cook for a couple of minutes stirring the entire time. Turn the heat off and let it sit for a minute or 2, plate it with lettuce leaves, serve and enjoy!

There is no right or wrong way to form your wraps. I tend to fill mine in the middle like a burrito and tuck the ends in. TheHub makes a neat little package with his.  It doesn't matter because it tastes the same either way___delicious.

Thai wraps, sliced tomatoes and cukes with a sprinkle of Everything But the Bagel* seasoning and called it a meal.

* You can buy it at Trader Joe's, Aldi has a version with a different name, or make it yourself

Gotta Get My Joy On

And now another week has come and gone. Somehow I got a week ahead of myself and this is the end of the 22nd week of 2021, or the beginning of week 23 depending on your point of view. For me with this joy, list I am looking in the mirror at the week that just ended, but the moment I hit publish I will be looking at the present, and of course at the week ahead. 

As usual I have kept a list of the things that brought me happiness during the week. At the end of the year I will re-read every post and look back at the good things that happened every single day.

I am taking teeny tiny baby steps to rejoin the world, but doing so at my own pace, wearing a mask and going nowhere without a small container of hand sanitizer.  I am counting that as a major joy, just not a joy for any specific day. 

Friday: I woke and walked into my bright and sunny den thanks to the change from the winter to the summer curtains.  It was wonderful to wake to cheery rather than dreary. Just before lunch one of Son3's friends stopped by to help me get the cover off the pool. I am so thankful for Ben! The water was mostly free of debris but it was a less than lovely shade of green. A ton of salt and a few days of filtering would change it, but it looked pretty bad then. 

Midday I watched the NCAA regional softball tournament. Bama played Kentucky and won the first game. 

Later I talked with a wonderful friend. (I am no longer calling her a blog friend because she has transitioned into a 3-D friend. Yes, I am lucky!) 

Saturday: TheHub and I rode around to do a few errands that turned into a 3 hour tour. But we had to be back in time to watch the NCAA regional softball tournament. Bama played Kentucky for the second time and won both, Roll Tide! After the game TheHub wanted to do a couple of other things so we drove around, to do a few errands, wound up at a seafood shop and found lump crabmeat! True joy there!

Sunday: The morning was really cool but we decided to put on light weight jackets and stream our church services while sitting on the screened porch in spite of the chill. It was a perfect way to begin a Sunday.

Later we made a run to get pool salt and look for a replacement to our broken wheelbarrow. So where was the joy? We found something that functions just like a wheelbarrow but instead of one wheel it had two, side by side for much more stability. Our yard has a slight slope and we have both noticed that it is harder to keep the wheelbarrow from listing toward the downhill side, especially if we have heavy loads.  Yes, we are now officially old. I guess I am only one step away from a 3 wheeled "bike".

Monday: It was Memorial Day. I began my day with coffee and watching a couple of Memorial Day dedications. TheHub began his day puttering in the yard. We got my horse trough set up with rocks and soil and now it is waiting for me to plant it. Later we had a decent meal followed by a Netflix movie. Woman at the Window was a surprising thriller.

Tuesday: My favorite handyman began working on Mom's house. Though nothing major was done, he did get the beginnings of several multi step projects started. Progress! DIL2 stopped by for a visit. She works in the home health care industry and had a gap between patients, so I got to enjoy some time with her.

Wednesday: More things were happening at Mom's, but again nothing major. When I checked the pool water I noticed it was significantly clearer. Whoopee! Just a few more days until it is ready for swimming. Later  in the afternoon, I had a few laughs on a phone call with my cousin.

Thursday: Yippee! The quartz countertop and undermount sink was installed in the master bath at Mom's. The faucet installation will soon follow. It looks great! 

After eating dinner TheHub and I watched Alabama play Arizona in the NCAA Softball World Series. Bama won! Roll Tide.

Later in the evening we had a fairly intense rain. Immediately afterward we  opened the den door so we could hear the symphony outside. After the heavy rain froggy went a courtin'. Actually lots of froggies went a courtin' and my backyard sounded like a Budweiser commercial, but we really do love listening to them.

As we begin the 23rd week of the year I hope you were able to find your joys. They are always out there if you just look for them, even if you have to look really hard some days!

First Things First Then Sweetening The Evening

For our Memorial Day meal I wanted to do something a little more festive than just pulling smoked pork out of the freezer and warming it up, plus I was craving something desserty. 

Faux strawberry pretzel salad

 Crust

3/4 cup ground walnuts (takes about 1 1/2 cups walnut pieces)

1 1/2 tablespoons softened butter

1 tablespoon sweetener of choice (I used Lakanto golden monk fruit)

sea salt 

Grind the walnuts into a fine powder, but be very careful because the time between fine powder and walnut butter is just a mini second. (Ask me how I know. Anyone want a walnut butter and sugar free jelly sandwich on no carb bread?)  Mix the walnut meal with the softened butter and the sweetener  and press into the bottom of an 8x8 oven safe pan. Bake at 350 for about 10 minutes, remove from the oven, sprinkle lightly with sea salt, and set it aside until it is completely cool.

Creamy Goodness

3 ounces softened cream cheese

1/4 cup powdered sweetener (I used powdered Swerve)

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 cup heavy cream whipped to stiff peaks

Stir the cream cheese, sweetener and the vanilla until smooth. Gently fold  the whipped cream into the cream cheese mixture. Spread it over the completely cooled crust and pop it into the refrigerator for at least 2 hours.

Cut into small squares to serve and add a dollop of sugar free strawberry jam.

I made this so I could have something decadent for our Memorial Day lackluster meal. Even though it was keto I offered some to TheHub. It is always a good idea to get a non-ketonian's opinion to see if it will pass. I am guessing he liked it because he had 3 servings on Memorial Day, forgot  it was in the laundry room fridge Tuesday, but had 2 more servings Wednesday night. Yes, I am calling it a hit!. 

If you are not doing keto, you might use pretzel crumbs in place of the walnuts, and use sugar and confectioner's sugar instead. The sweeteners I used are all 1-1 substituted for real sugars. 

If you are doing keto, this is a fabulous occasional treat. I would love to have it several times a week, but that’s a no go for me. 

This is much tastier than the traditional pretzel salad which uses Jello instead of jam, but then I detest Jello so it might just be a personal preference.

I will confess I did not use jam. I had some perfect strawberries and I just cooked them until they felt a little thick and then stuck them in the fridge to get cold. It worked well but if my strawberries had not been so sweet I probably would have needed to add some sweetener.

This is definitely a keeper!

Getting Crabby Over Here

Over the weekend we were finally able to find lump crabmeat and I was more than thrilled because it meant we would be able to have the long craved and awaited crab cakes. These are the keto version, which is simply a ketofied version of my regular crab cakes.  From start to finish this is about a 30 minute process that tastes like so much more time and love went into it.

Again I apologize for using this song. I am sorry that once I hear something it sticks in my brain and comes out at inopportune times.

Crab cakes 

1 pound lump crabmeat, rinsed, shredded a little, and picked through for any residual shell pieces.

3 tablespoons minced onion

3 tablespoons minced celery

1 tablespoon minced red pepper* optional

1/4 cup almond flour (or 1 tablespoon flour for a non keto version)

1 egg, beaten

2 teaspoons mayonnaise

1 teaspoon  Captain Anderson's Seafood Blend* or 1 teaspoon Old Bay seasoning*

A pinch of black pepper

Blend of butter and oil for frying

Mix the crab meat and the vegetables together, then sprinkle with the almond flour. Blend it well and let it stand for a couple of minutes.  Beat the egg and add the remaining ingredients.to the egg. Stir the egg mix into the crab mixture. Flatten each slightly and place on a parchment covered cookie sheet. 

Heat oil and butter to medium hot in a skillet with a flat bottom.  I did not measure but I used about a tablespoon of butter and 1 1/2 tablespoons of oil .  When the oil and butter are hot, cook them (4 at a time) on one side for about 3-4 minutes (until the bottom is golden brown). Flip them with a cooking spatula but only flip once because they will com apart if you try to flip them more than once. (Just ask me how I know this.) When done drain them on a paper towel. Wipe out any cooking oil from the pan and cook the remaining 4 using fresh butter and oil. 

I served this with a lemon slice and remoulade sauce found here. I used a corse grain dark mustard instead of traditional yellow. Other than that I did pretty much what the recipe called for except to actually measure. Since I was not writing a recipe, I didn't have to do anything but eyeball it.

*If you prefer a traditional Maryland type crab cake, use the Old Bay seasoning. I like to taste more crab than seasoning, so I used the Captn. Anderson's. Normally I just use a little salt, pepper and cayenne but I was unsure how using almond flour would affect the taste (not at all), so I punched the flavor up a little bit more than I normally would.

Speaking of Captain Anderson's seasoning: the link I provided has it for 7 bucks.  At ThePig I get it for 3.95 which is the only reason I have it!

First Things First, Then Peruvian Chicken

Just because it's June, June, June!

And if you are looking for something easy and delicious for a beautiful June day, I can't recommend this highly enough. It is easy, can be mostly prepared ahead of time, and did I mention that it is delicious?

Peruvian Chicken with Green Sauce

Green sauce:

1 bunch cilantro, washed and torn in pieces, stems and all

10 mint leaves

1 jalapeno seeded and ribs removed

2 garlic cloves, peeled

3 tablespoons mayonnaise

2 tablespoons lime juice

2 tablespoons oil

salt to taste

Make early in the day or the day before.

Put all the ingredients in a blended container. Pulse several times to get things all mixed together then let 'er rip until everything is pureed. Scrape the sides of the blender to make sure no lumpy bits are still there. If you find any pulse a couple of times. Scrape all the deliciousness from the blender and store in a sealed refrigerator container until right before time to use.

Pickled onions

Make this in the morning before hand also.

1 small onion thinly sliced

lime juice equivalent to 2 limes (I used the bottled stuff ,it was delicious, and the world was still spinning despite the fact that I did not juice 2 fresh limes) 

salt to taste. I probably used 1/2 teaspoon

(I also pickled tomato slices and bell peppers. It was overkill and I will only use onions going forward

I had a clean empty salsa jar so I just put everything in the jar, shook it well, then put it in the fridge. During the day anytime I walked by the fridge (and remembered) I would just give it a good shake.

The actual Peruvian Chicken

2 cloves garlic, minced

2 tablespoons Peruvian spice blend

(if you don't want to make it make your own blend, simply use cumin, oregano, paprika, salt, black pepper. It should work perfectly fine. I have them in order of most to least but do not have the measurements )

2 tablespoons olive oil

The Juice of two limes (or bottled lime juice equivalent, totally your choice, but I used the bottled stuff)

4 boneless skinless chicken thighs.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. while the oven is heating up put the lime juice in a shallow bowl and dip the chicken in the juice, turning to make sure all sides are covered.

Mix the garlic and spice blend in a small bowl. Add the olive oil. It will be like a loose paste. Then coat  the bottom of the chicken with  the paste and put it in an oven safe pan. Brush the remaining "paste' on the top of the chicken. Pop those puppies in the oven and bake until done. It took them a little under 30 minutes in my oven.

Plate the chicken topped with the pickled onions and serve the green sauce on the side.

This dish is delicious and fully keto. My non-Keto husband loved this and it is something we are going to have all through the summer, though I am most likely going to grill the chicken outside.

The green sauce is in a league all by itself. I am going to keep it in the refrigerator all the time. I can't think of any protein it would not taste good with, so this is my new staple. I had some over steamed cauliflower with a dollop of sour cream and it was unbelievable. I imagine it would be outstanding on a baked potato also, and it works well with a tad more oil as a different and delicious salad dressing.

Try it, you might like it!