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Thursday, August 29, 2019

Monkey Cat Fight

My Beloved Sister has said that when the end came our Dad went out swinging for the fences. She says Mom, on the other hand, is leaving in a cat fight. After last night we have amended her exit strategy. She is in a cat vs.ninja monkey bru ha ha.


I have been going to her house every evening to be a constant in the transition from night to overnight care givers. ( This is in addition to being there from 7-11 every morning and running by at about 4 each afternoon)
Last night Mom decided she no longer wanted overnight care and if I could not stay with her every night she would just stay by herself. When I told her she had no choice,  that My Beloved Sister and I had hired overnight care, the woman who has not been able to get out of bed alone much less walk without a walker yelled "The Hell I don't" jumped up out of the chair she was sitting in, ran through the front door and was out on the porch before the care giver and I could catch her. She was holding on to the stair railing trying to make her escape and it took both of us to get her back in the house. Who would have ever thought a tiny little 95 pound woman could have so much physical fight in her.

It turns out in her diminished mental capacity she had decided we are trying to control her (somewhat true, if by control you mean keep her safe) and  we were giving her no input into her own care (also somewhat true, if you mean we talk about it with her before making plans, which she promptly forgets, and every day is the new to her first time she has had care) She also thought her night time care giver, who is an adorable very small woman, was a 12 year old girl, and she was not going to stay with a child.

And now we know a new plan. Every time anyone enters the house, the dead bolts much be locked to slow down her escape routes, because this is really difficult!

And as a small aside, she has no idea why her back is hurting so much more today. Think it might be from trying to escape from our grasps by pulling and twisting with all her might?

24 comments:

  1. Oh, wow, Anne. This must be so hard for you! Well, at least now you are aware of what she is capable of doing and are prepared!

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  2. Deadbolts might work. My friend over six feet said his five foot, tiny mother took all he had to get her back into the house. It is sad when these things happen. Sorry for all this. I hope you pay these women combat pay. I was by Piggly Wiggly in your neighborhood today and waved with both hands, and said, "Hi, Anne!"

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    1. We have deadbolts but I had it unlocked for her main caregiver to leave and for her overnight care giver to come in. Not happening anymore.
      If you were at The Pig in Bluff Park you were pretty near my house

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  3. Aaargh.
    Thank goodness for the lighter moments. They are completely effing essential. Hugs.

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  4. Oh Anne - I am sorry that you have to go through this. Every day about 4 pm my father would "sundown" and if he got outdoors it was difficult to get him to come back in. We even had to lock the farm driveway gates to keep him safe. His faithful dog Shep could be counted on to help me find him on these "walks" and bring him safely back to the house.
    I know your pain, and am glad you can find some humor in this trying time. Know that each time I read your updates I pray for you all - you and your sister and your Mom especially.
    Hugs!

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    1. Mom goes from pitiful to combative in a matter of seconds. After extended rants about how I was turning everyone against her and how horrible I was to not let her go to her house (we were in the middle of the den in the home she has lived in for 51 years) am pretty sure at some point and under my breath I told Mom to bite my ass, just not loud enough for her to hear

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  5. Wow, I was just catching up on the last few posts. You are going through a lot daily. I hope you and your sister find time to take care of yourselves too. (((Hugs)))

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    1. I am afraid our self care is going to come later on, but you do what you have to do.

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  6. It's amazing where they get their strength from isn't it. Poor lady - and poor you!

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    1. It is almost super human given her frail physical stature

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  7. Im sorry Anne. Finding your own resilience has to be a multi time a day need.

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    1. I am glad I am not really a drinker. I am afraid I would resort to serious drinking!

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  8. Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry Anne, that's rough and probably pretty exhausting for you.

    Tania

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    1. I am just sorry she is having a hard time going through this time of life. I wish it was easier for her.

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  9. Where there is the will, she'll find a way. I'm sorry this is the ways things are for your mom and for you and sister too.

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    1. Mom has been a strong willed woman as long as I have known her. There is no reason for me to think there would be any other way.

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  10. Crap crap crap. Please feel free to vent on your blog, many of us will face that in the future or have faced it in the past

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    1. It is interesting. Dad's body just gave out on him but he was a lucid as ever until the night before he died. We put him to bed and he never woke. This is so drastically different. Mom has been having cognitive issues for a couple of years, but until fairly recently she could "cover". That is no longer the case, and it is really hard on her and on us.

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  11. Oh my dear friend, you have to take the funny/sad moments and hold on to them. The day before mom died she had a sprint like this, with incredible strength. The spirit is strong. Hang in there, that is all I can say and know that I am thinking and praying for you.

    Also laughing a little.

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    1. Thank you very much. I know this is familiar to you and you understand why we have to laugh a little, even if it seems inappropriate!

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  12. You will not look back on all of these experiences with you mother and laugh, but I think you will at this one. Good luck.I know what you're going through.

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    1. Thank you so much. I know you are still feeling much fresh grief and understand all too well.

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