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Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Joys for the 20th Week of 2020

As has been my habit this year, I am continuing to look for the joy I find each and every day. .Last week was a difficult week to muddle through but people reaching out with phone calls, cards, and  your comments  and condolences via this blog made a hard week bearable.  I am grateful beyond measure.
I hope when I reread this post at the end of the year, I will be blessed again to remember life can be just like weather and you find the most  beautiful rainbows after the storms. This week I have found rainbows all around me

Wednesday: A friend who lost her husband right before the Covid stuff hit called to see if we were home. She brought me a lovely hanging plant and a basket of strawberries. How she could do that in the midst of her personal grief overwhelms me. I am fortunate to have some truly lovely friends.

Thursday: We were finally able to have a service for Mom. It was strange, weird and wonderful at the same time.  The morning started with a phone call form a friend who brought me a bag of strawberries and left them on my porch. She had brought some the day before which I thanked her for and told her we would be having strawberry short cake for dessert after the series. It seems she wanted to make sure we had enough.  Additionally another neighbor had dropped off a basket of them on Tuesday. I think now that strawberries have replaced a casserole as funeral foods. (Plus all the you pick strawberry fields here are now open)
Our church is still observing very limited numbers and funerals are restricted to 10 including the minister. There were 8 of us at the service with my distant sons attending with their families via zoom. So everyone was a part of the service  either relaying stores and memories or Son3 playing Mom and Dad's song. (Trombone solo of the song Sophisticated Lady)
Then as we were leaving the columbarium my dear friend was sitting on a bench outside the church. She said even though she could not be there in person she wanted to be there for me. I am blessed beyond belief.
Afterward we all went to Mom's house for a lunch and conversation. Mom's only surviving sibling, my 94 year old Uncle Bob, was there and told us wonderful tales of their early lives. Plus Mom bought the lunch. I was her personal banker but she was afraid to have cash at her house so I kept it in my wallet and just gave her whatever she needed. After her death I found nearly 200 dollars of hers in the Mom's Money zipper compartment..
I almost feel guilty for finding so much joy on this day.

Friday: My sister and I decided to have a luncheon for Mom's sitters. They had all wanted to come to the funeral but could not because of the numbers, so we had lunch and conversations as a strange closure for them. It was wonderful and they talked about Mom and shared some of the funny stories she had shared with them. They stayed about an hour and a half longer than I thought they would, so I guess they were enjoying themselves.
When I got back to my house DIL2 was pulling in my driveway. She works as a visiting occupational therapist and runs by between home visits on occasion. I did not see her at all until just recently now that they are screening all patients for Covid before therapy begins, and the patients are required to self isolate if they want to continue getting visits.
The third joy of the day was getting to see  DIL3's commencement address. Like other schools, hers is having a video ceremony right now and she was voted by the other students as the representative they wanted to speak.

Saturday: TheHub and I woke and had coffee on the screened porch while listening to the birds. Afterward we headed to the lake to do a few chores. Though everything we touched turned to crap, the weather was gorgeous and the lake was beautiful. After a lovely ride home we stopped and grabbed a few things we needed for the weekend (cinnamon rolls for Sunday morning), ate a delicious dinner, then watched 2 episodes of Jack Ryan. It was a good day.

Sunday: We began the day with online church services, followed by our Webex Sunday school class. The upside of it is watching church in my pajamas, then doing my hair (brushing it) and putting on a dab of makeup and a decent blouse for the Sunday school class (No one but TheHub and me know I was also wearing shorts and flip-flops)
I worked in the backyard for a while, cleaned up a tad then met the neighbors for a socially distanced drink and chat.

Monday: I was going to have to be at the lake place on Tuesday morning before 8 so I decided I would just go down and spend the night. (Much easier than getting up early and driving down) TheHub met me there after work and had stopped by a Mediterranean restaurant for a take out dinner.  We ate and watched the sunset, then read until bedtime. (We had already declared it would be a chore free night)

Tuesday:  I woke at 5 a.m. and decided to go ahead and get up for the day. I had coffee while looking out at the lake. The sky was still gray and the lake was like a mirror. In the early morning the dam is not pulling water and there was no wind. Looking at the trees reflection in the silver colored water was incredibly beautiful. After my first cup of coffee was gone I got another and sat on a stool by the kitchen window to watch the magic. Right before sunrise the entire lake turns apricot, the slowly changes into a bright gold. I am not a morning person by nature and I think those of us who see few sunrises are in serious awe when we experience them. I make it a point to experience them at the lake since the whole process from silver water to gold happens in about 15 minutes. (Though most times I do go back to sleep)

I hope you all have joyful moments during the week, and I hope that you notice the spectacular moments that happened every single day during times of ordinary life. And now I am starting week 21 and looking for the little joys in life. Peace! 

22 comments:

  1. I am glad the abbreviated experience of your mother's funeral was at least satisfying. I see few sunrises and am happy for NOT seeing them...lol. But, it does sound lovely.

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    1. The funeral was much more personal than a larger service would have been. I am not a dawn person but they are gorgeous and when I do catch one I am filled with awe.

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  2. I am so glad that your rainbows were shining brightly this week. Any day is improved by them.
    I strongly suspect (and would go so far as to say I know) that you have good friends because you are one.
    I am a dawn person (it is a couple of hours before ours now). Seeing a dawn over water? Magic. Serene and beautiful magic.
    I am sorry that my last post was close to the bone for you. Very sorry.
    Oceans of caring continue to flow your way.

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    1. I will admit I do have some wonderful friends and I am thankful for each and every one of them. I do think sunrise over water is truly magical, but sunset over water is pretty spectacular also. I feel fortunate that when we are at the lake we can see both from the same chair. All it requires is a few hours and turning our heads.
      I actually relayed the tale of the "gem" your Dad sold to the lady to my middle son. We had a nice laugh about it.

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  3. I am so happy that you are still finding joy in things through this tough time. You are so blessed to have such great sons and daughters (in law).

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    1. I am very lucky. When I call them my DIL's I am not saying daughter in law. In my mind I am saying Daughter in love.

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  4. Close family and good friends do indeed make for joys even amidst the sadness.

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  5. That's exactly what funerals should be - a time of remembrance and love, even happiness seeing others who know what you are feeling. I am super glad you still have the lake house in this time, perhaps are you thinking of hanging on to it? I know with your Mom you never had time to go there. Hugs

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    1. We priced it on the high end and if someone met our price I would still sell, but we decided to wait until after the summer and see if we truly take advantage of it now that we can go for the weekend. In a bit my sister and I are going down for some alone time for just the two of us.

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  6. You sound like your week was much calmer, more peaceful. I think the worst thing about funerals is waiting for them to happen - just like treading water. Once they're over you have time to remember the good times with that person and begin the grieving process. Hugs to you.

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    1. I think there is some closure with a funeral that is necessary. Don't get me wrong, I still well up and find some memories sliding down my cheeks, but I am more at peace now.

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  7. I'm glad that you've had the comfort of family and good friends during what must have been a very sad and difficult week. You've been able to find the rainbows and what a blessing that is!

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    1. There is an abundance of joy and thanksgiving as long as I try to see it. Now my sister and I have begun the process of cleaning out drawers, cabinets and closets. We found a bathmat that was in the bathroom of the house we lived in when I was 12, prior to them building their current house, We fell out laughing when we saw it. Who keeps age old bathmats?

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  8. I'm glad you had the opportunity to celebrate your mom's life, with some stories and song. The luncheon with the caregivers was very nice - I'm sure you heard stories you hadn't heard before.

    Oh, to be able to sit by a body of water - I'm not sure what it is but for me, it brings peace to my heart.

    Take care and stay well!

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    1. It was nice to be able to share stories about Mom with the caregivers and also with my own kids. I have been flooded with cards from Mom's friends, some I knew well and some I barely knew, but what an honor for them to remember her to me.
      Water soothes my soul!

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  9. My kids and I held a visitation in the funeral home for my husband, who was already cremated. It was not a funeral. There were no eulogies given. It was a chance to gather and share grief and say good-bye. I remember that day as very joyful. There were howls of laughter and squeals of delight from people who were getting together after not seeing each other in a long time. There were stories shared that I had never heard before. It was one of the best days of my life. I smiled and laughed until my cheeks hurt. My Sweetie would have loved it.

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  10. I am out of cookies. It's hard for me to find joy without cookies. I'm glad the service went well.

    Love,
    Janie

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  11. I absolutely love how you are remaining positive in your situation. It's so nice that your family and friends were there to help you after your mother's passing. That is a really beautiful thing! 💜

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